A Seatbelt Related Dream

It was late at night when I pulled up to the stoplight. The road was dimly lit, the only light coming from a car to my right. It bounced through my windshield, showing that I had neglected to buckle my seatbelt. I don’t know why it was unbuckled. Maybe I had decided to live dangerously. […]

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Chocolate: A Real Weakness

In the break room at work, you are bound to run across interesting conversations. More often, though, you are going to hear the same conversations over and over. The break room is not a place to break ground conversationally, lest you choose your conversational choice poorly and spend the next 40 years known as the […]

Warning: Pumping Gas and Morning Do Not Mix

Life is much harder in the morning. Even the simplest tasks can be daunting. You can suddenly find yourself staring at a shoelace as if you were facing the summit of Everest. That is how I found myself driving down I-440 with the door to my gas tank open. It started out like many other […]

El Paso Caveman Brings Up Question: Is It Crazy To Live In A Cave?

A group of hikers were headed into McKelligon Canyon this week when a man jumped out of a cave, startling all of them. This is completely understandable. There are very few things I expect to jump out of a cave, and a human being is definitely not on that list. While most of the group […]

Worst Idea Ever: Wearing Black While Biking In a Rainstorm at Night

It was a dark and rainy night as I drove down Broadway. Not shockingly, my 1992 Ford Explorer does not have the greatest braking distance in history. As I came on an intersection, I suddenly slammed on my brakes. I hoped that I would be able to stop in time. There, in the middle of […]

Power to the Online People

Sometimes it may seem to people that writing on the internet is a waste of time. For the most part it is. I mean, no one really needs to read about my attempts to hold in a sneeze. (Spoiler alert: The sneeze comes out before, ultimately, my head explodes.) In actuality, though, we are living […]

Cats: The Most Cuddly Carnivorous Pet a Man Can Have

  Since I was a kid, I have had a love-hate relationship with cats. Most feline exchanges would play out the same way. I would go to pet the cat. “Hey, cat. I’m just trying to pet you,” I would say. For some reason, it seems like this warning should prepare the cat for physical […]