No CNN, I Do Not Care About Justin Bieber

Technology is a wonderful thing. There once was a time when we could not have every bit of news in front of us at a seconds notice. You would have to wait for people like Walter Cronkite to come on TV at a certain time and let you know that indeed there was something that […]

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The Official Conspiracy Theory of My Demise

Warning: The following post contains a fair amount of morbidity. You’ve been warned. There are a lot of ways to mark a person as a success. The shallowest way involves money and very expensive possessions. Some people look at power and influence as the ultimate achievement. Other people look at the impact they make on […]

Oh Sure… Global Warming is All My Fault…

The United Nations is renowned for sticking their noses in people’s business. Anywhere in the world, you are likely to find the U.N. insisting that countries protect human rights, alleviate poverty, or avoid starting a gigantic world war that is destined to destroy us all. I mean, talk about intrusive! Once again, the U.N. has […]

Meggings: Because There Is Nothing Men Want More Than to Wear Spandex

As I am often reminded in my life, I am not a fashion expert. I do not understand many things about clothing. For example, why do I have a little tiny pocket inside the pocket of my pants? It seems unnecessary to have a pocket in a pocket. Maybe if I had two coins that […]

Justin Bieber Shouts Out To Me At the AMA’s! Dreams Do Come True!

Dear Justin Bieber, Congratulations on your big win at the American Music Awards tonight. Winning “Favorite Musical Artist” is the most valuable award a musician can win if we aren’t counting a Grammy. A Grammy is a much bigger deal. I did not see it myself. I tend to not watch awards shows like this. […]

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Prove True Love is Dead and There is Nothing Anyone Can Do About It

Listen closely. Just put your hands up to your ears. If you focus, you can hear the tears of every romantic falling to the ground. For what seems like forever, we have paid witness to the truest example of love the world has ever seen. It was a fairytale romance between the girl next door […]

Lady Gaga and Mystery Man Arrested After Hot Air Balloon Joy Ride*

There, on the front page of Yahoo, was what was sure to be the biggest news story of the year. “Bad-boy Actor Pummels Justin Bieber.” Finally, after tormenting the world for what seems like years, some actor had taken care of Bieber once and for all. It was probably Nicholas Cage. Cage doesn’t seem to […]

100 Words For Swag

A while ago, I wrote about the brilliance of Justin Bieber. Of course it was all very tongue-in-cheek. In fact, Justin Bieber is not a genius writer on the same level as William Shakespeare. Maybe he writes as well as that “50 Shades of Grey” lady, but that’s about as far as his genius goes. Of […]

Justin Bieber: The New Shakespeare Has Arrived

First published in 1609, the love sonnets of William Shakespeare have managed to be the guideline for all things romantic since. Now, over 400 years later, his words still ring true: “Against my love shall be as I am now, With Time’s injurious hand crush’d and o’erworn.” Who can deny that Shakespeare felt… there was […]

Another One Bites the Dust: Nathan Badley’s Last Post Ever

Hugh Hefner, dead at 213. Was it…. MURDER?!?! Well, it’s time to say goodbye to Charlie Sheen. Best known for roles as Charlie B. Barkin in “All Dogs Go To Heaven II” and Charlie Harper on “Two and a Half Men,” as well as absolute nut job Charlie Sheen in “The Life of Charlie Sheen,” […]