Apparently “Law Enforcement” Needs a Stricter Definition

I was standing in line at a gas station today. As I stepped to register to pay for a delicious and moderately priced beverage, a man walked up beside me. This is never what I want to happen. It means that the person next to me is about to distract the cashier from the pressing […]

Warning: Pumping Gas and Morning Do Not Mix

Life is much harder in the morning. Even the simplest tasks can be daunting. You can suddenly find yourself staring at a shoelace as if you were facing the summit of Everest. That is how I found myself driving down I-440 with the door to my gas tank open. It started out like many other […]

This Day Will Live in Anonymity

It is now 9:15 p.m. 15 hours ago, I was getting out of bed. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, put on some deodorant. After my morning destinking, I got prepared for another day of work. In between then and now, though, nothing happened. I don’t know how you can go a full 15 […]

Dear Man In Front of Me At the Gas Station…

Dear man in front of me at the gas station, Hello. It’s great to talk to you. You might remember me. I’m the person who was behind you in line at the gas station that seemed to be slightly impatient. While I’m sure you thought this was rude, let me explain myself. While I was […]