Thanks For Your Birthday Wishes. Now Leave Me Alone.

Barring some unforeseen terrible happenstance, tomorrow will be my birthday. This will be my 26th one of these. I’ve been around the block, I know how this goes. To save myself time tomorrow, I would like to respond to all of the birthday wishes now. To all of those who are going to ask “So… […]


Things to Think About…

-A person gave me a chocolate chip granola bar and told me it was a healthy snack. Apparently the guidelines for healthy have been loosened to include candy. I’m still holding my breath for a gummy worm hummus, though. -Martin Luther King Jr. would be a whole lot less respected if the dream he gave […]

Celebrate Memorial Day the Right Way (Hey! That Rhymes!)

Tomorrow is Memorial Day, a day to honor all of those who, since the Civil War, have been killed in battle. In typical American fashion, it has also become a day revolving around food, causing many to shove grilled meats down their gullet. With so much of a focus on eating, it is easy to […]

Oh, How I Miss Summer Vacation…

George Bernard Shaw once said “Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” When I was younger, I would have thought that ridiculous. “George Bernard Shaw is a stupid dummy,” I would have said. “Who cares about dumb Irish playwrights? Plus, his literary criticism was not as great as some […]

Happy Earth Day

Today is Earth Day, the day that, according to Wikipedia is an “annual day on which events are held worldwide to increase awareness and appreciation of the Earth’s natural environment.” In honor of this spirit, I have included the following letter to Earth for everyone to sign:   Simply print this letter, sign it, take to your backyard […]

How Wikipedia Destroyed Encyclopedia Britannica

About a month ago, I went a day without internet. Like the trooper I am, I powered through, writing a blog post anyway. The topic was, not surprisingly, how hard it is to do things without the internet. In this post, I had a lot of fun at the expense of encyclopedias (If you do […]

A Letter To Congress

Dear Congress, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there are a lot of people mad at you. No, I’m not talking about the “Occupy This-or-that” people. I’m not talking about the constant infighting that has prevented our government from getting nearly anything done. I’m not even talking about the general unhappiness that you are […]

The Dangers of Wikipedia

There are quite a few people in the world that I do not care for. Brett Favre. Lady Gaga. Anyone who has ever had the last name Kardashian. My hatred for these people, though, pales in comparison to the abhorrence I feel for two men. I loathe Larry Sanger and Jimmy Wales. “Who are these […]

Labor Day: The Blessing and the Curse of a Three Day Weekend

With this last Monday being Labor Day, everyone’s favorite union-related holiday, I was granted one of the most delightful things a human can ask for. I received the elusive three day weekend. Three day weekends are great. It gives you a great opportunity to get everything that you have been putting off done. Going into the […]

Add Sinkholes to the List of Things That Go Bump In The Night

I’ve had nights where I can’t sleep. For whatever reason, I am preoccupied with what might be happening the next day or I’m distracted by the noises coming from my neighbor’s bedroom. My old neighbor was very raucous. Eventually, though, I just fall asleep and wake up the next day. I’m not usually traumatized (unless […]