George Soros, You Owe Me Some Money…


Illustration of what George Soros might look like as a duck.

Just over two weeks ago, I participated in the Nashville leg of the Women’s March. It was very nice to see that many people join together for a common goal.

At least that’s what I thought at the time. Now, I’m just peeved. I’m irked. I’m infuriated and enraged and furious and what not. I don’t know when the last time was that I felt this ripped off.

See, earlier today Donald Trump’s Communications Director and raging press conference haver Sean Spicer was interviewed on the only mainstream news source that occasionally reports non-fake news- Fox and Friends. When asked about the protests that have happened in response to Donald Trump, he had some very pointed words.

“Oh, absolutely,” Spicer said when asked whether the protesters to Donald Trump’s travel ban were paid. “Protesting has become a profession now.”

This isn’t the first time it has been brought up either. His Royal Orangenish tweeted about it just a few days ago. Right after the very march I participated in, many “legitimate” news sources like (clearly reputable based on its use of “Constitution”) reported that the marchers were paid.

This really chaps my hide. I just can’t believe the gall. Here I was marching, and not a single person told me I was supposed to get paid! I was just walking around like a chump while everyone else was rolling in the green.

Apparently George Soros is just unloading racks on racks on racks to protestors. Or, should I say, to SOME protestors. I guess some of us aren’t worthy of getting a piece of that $25 billion fortune.

Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I wasn’t marching with the appropriate fervor. I will admit, I did choose to not participate in many of the chants. That had nothing to do with the chants themselves. I’m just not much of a chanter. I tend to be more of a talker or, preferably, a silenter. If someone had told me, though, that I could become independently wealthy just by declaring that this, indeed, is what democracy looks like, I would have been completely hoarse the next day.

You know what… no. This wasn’t my fault in any way. What I lacked in chanting, I made up for in moderate walking and avoiding being trampled. I did that like a champ. If that doesn’t earn me a few bucks, I don’t know what does.

That is why I am calling you out, George Soros. As famed rapper Big Sean said, “Ain’t nothing more important than the moola.” Well, I want that moola. I am prepared to take you all the way to court until you have paid me the money I deserve. I want every cent of it.

And, Soros, don’t you dare try to tell me you didn’t pay any of the people at the march. If you do, you are saying that our carroty leader and his glorified mouthpiece are liars. And if they are lying, it would imply that they are not the leaders that they paint themselves as. They would never lie to us, right?



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