The Sweet Siren Song of Asiago Cheese

Being healthy is the worst. I should really clarify, I suppose. Behaving in a healthy manner is the worst. Having physical health is an okay thing, I suppose, though if behaving in a healthy manner is what it takes to achieve it, I fear it may be highly overrated. Recently, I decided to be a […]

Dear Nathan: Is Drinking Out Of The Milk Carton Unsanitary?

DEAR NATHAN: My husband drinks milk straight from the carton. He says it’s OK because he’s the only one in the house who drinks milk. (True.) I have told him I find it disgusting and that company often drinks milk, having no idea that he drinks straight from the carton. Isn’t this unsanitary — not […]

10 Tips For Ditching That Winter Weight

Substitute your favorite junk food with a healthy snack. Nothing will derail your weight loss plans quicker than a craving for a bag of Doritos JACKED Ranch Dipped Hot Wings flavored chips. Find a healthier snack to satisfy that craving. This should not be hard as just about anything is healthier. Pay attention to portion […]

Nothing Says Stop Smoking Like A Cemetery

Nothing is better than a midday walk. Having a bit of time during lunch, I decided to get some much-needed exercise. I walked up the street, through a parking lot and into the area around the neighboring office building. There, next to that office building, sat a graveyard. Not a metaphorical graveyard: an actual, real […]

Why Does My Bed Refuse To Do Its Job?

Tuesday started off very poorly. I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock. After hitting snooze until the very last second I could, I crawled out of bed. I stood up straight and immediately realized two things. I was still tired. Not regular tired, but somehow after a full night’s sleep, I was more […]

I’m Sorry You Must Handle My Urine, Sir…

Dear man who collected my urine today,   It was great meeting you today. You seemed like a perfectly friendly person. Under normal circumstances, we might have become friends. Of course, normal circumstances do not involve the exchange of my urine. I wanted to take a second to apologize to you. It’s not that I […]

Nathan’s Inferno Pars Duo: The Saga Continues

Several days ago, I began a tale of dread, a saga of horror. I began to tell the story of my trip to the Driver’s License Bureau. We now will rejoin this tale as our hero is headed to the second of the three lines.   Line 2: Versus Per Totus Of Numerus (The Line […]