Long-Lost Sister Found At Local Walmart. You Really Can Get Anything There…

As Americans, there are a few things that we hold dear. There is liberty and freedom and all that crap. More importantly, though, we love things. We need a lot of things. We love things so much that we even have TV shows about people buying things so that they can then sell those things […]

Babies: The World’s Most Adorable Money Suck

Disclaimer: The following post involves shopping for items that would be involved in the raising of a child. If you are a parent of either myself or my wife, I must warn you this does not imply we are considering having a child right now. It was for a friend. Once again, not right now. […]

If I Have A Son, I Will Call Him… Uhhhh…

There are a lot of reasons to be nervous about having children. From their graceless, teetering attempts to walk across the room all the way to their graceless, teetering attempts at become full-grown well-adjusted human beings, there are a lot of dangers that a parent has to watch out for. Suddenly, parents are responsible for […]

Thanks For Everything, Grandmother

When you first begin dating someone, there are many awkward situations you will be thrust into. For me, the peak of awkward situations with the woman that would one day become my wife arrived in the spring of 2007. After only a handful of dates, I was reluctantly dragged to a wedding of two people […]

The Cutest Widdle Iddy Biddy Post Ever…

This weekend, I spent a good amount of time around babies. These little tiny humans were being held by bigger, full-sized humans. Despite the fact that both sizes of people were the same species, there was a special language being spoken. “AW! Wook at youw widdle nose! You awe soooo cute! Yes you awe! You […]

My Niece, The Ultimate Patriot

Today, my 3-year-old niece and her family arrived back after a long vacation. Over the past two weeks, they visited Ireland, Germany, France, and England. They were witnesses to some of history’s greatest treasures, viewing Stonehenge, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, Buckingham Palace, and Notre Dame. As a child, I never visited anything as monumental […]

Oh, How I Miss Summer Vacation…

George Bernard Shaw once said “Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.” When I was younger, I would have thought that ridiculous. “George Bernard Shaw is a stupid dummy,” I would have said. “Who cares about dumb Irish playwrights? Plus, his literary criticism was not as great as some […]

Choose Your Own Adventure: “The Ladore Luger: Part 1”

Today is the first segment of our new Choose Your Own Adventure series, “The Ladore Luger.” (Don’t worry. The title will make sense.) Enjoy and remember: you will be responsible for the decisions 16-year-old Billy Hamilton makes.   “Billy!” The voice rang off of the walls and echoed through the hall, forcing its way into […]