Man So Bored With Super Bowl That He Tried To Eat His Brother’s Ear

When a big event like the Super Bowl takes place, you are sure to hear some weird stories. After all, it is a day when 325.5 million gallons of beer is consumed. That does not exactly sound like a day full of responsible decisions. All around the country, people are more likely to break bones […]

No CNN, I Do Not Care About Justin Bieber

Technology is a wonderful thing. There once was a time when we could not have every bit of news in front of us at a seconds notice. You would have to wait for people like Walter Cronkite to come on TV at a certain time and let you know that indeed there was something that […]

Aliens Are Out There and Apparently They Enjoy Messing With Our Planes

As far as I know, there are no statistics for how many people are afraid of flying. I would assume that it is a lot, and really who can blame them? Even if you understand the physics of flight, the fact that you are in a gigantic winged tube made of metal that is hurtling […]

Clive Palmer, My New Best Friend

About a year and a half ago, I wrote about a gentleman named Clive Palmer. I’ll take a quick second to refresh everyone on our dear friend Clive. All of his life, Australian Clive Palmer had a dream. Unlike most people, this dream wasn’t to become rich and famous. Palmer is a mining tycoon so, […]

El Paso Caveman Brings Up Question: Is It Crazy To Live In A Cave?

A group of hikers were headed into McKelligon Canyon this week when a man jumped out of a cave, startling all of them. This is completely understandable. There are very few things I expect to jump out of a cave, and a human being is definitely not on that list. While most of the group […]

David Blaine: Using His Magic Skills To Stand in One Place Since 1999

Sometime, thousands of years ago, a man was with his regular, average, every day group of friends. After an evening of prehistoric Pictionary, the man went to go pick up his hat. Without warning, a rabbit leapt from the hat. The man stared at his hat, perplexed. He was fairly certain he had not been […]

Topless Women Officially Scrape the Bottom of the Protesting Barrel

“Oh, if I could but live another century and see the fruition of all the work for women! There is so much yet to be done.” -Susan B. Anthony, prominent civil rights leader “If we mean to have heroes, statesmen and philosophers, we should have learned women.”-Abigail Adams, former first lady and woman’s rights advocate […]

Westboro Baptist Church To Protest Aurora Memorial Service. You Know, Because That Makes Sense…

On July 20, 2012, James Holmes “allegedly” (apparently the definition of “allegedly” has been expanded to include “absolutely, without a doubt, did this thing”) walked into a midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” and began firing. He killed 12 and injured 58 innocent movie patrons. As one might imagine, this has made Holmes the […]

The Thin Line Between Genius and Insanity: Really, Guys. It is Super Thin.

There is a very common phrase that says, “There is a thin line between genius and insanity.” It is, in essence, saying that if we were to map genius and insanity, they would be Canada and the United States. Albert Einstein and Charles Manson would be close enough to touch, but still not quite in […]

Presidential Debates: It’s Like the Rich White Guy Olympics

Every four years, a group of individuals dust off their nicest suits, grab their best tie (red or blue, preferably) and begin spouting off gibberish much to the delight of the entire country. They visit state fairs and eat a great amount of fried foods. They talk about the “Spirit of America,” which, I am […]