Farewell, Anonymity. We Hardly Knew Ye…

I don’t think there is a single thing in the history of the world that makes me happier than a comment section on the internet. Nothing gives me more joy than heading to YouTube, finding the latest adorable animal video, then commenting, “Why are you watching these cute animals when Obama is trying to literally […]

Happy 100th Birthday, Oreo. You Don’t Taste a Day Over 75.

I was peacefully minding my own business today when something appeared on my TV screen that disturbed me greatly. It seems that 2012 is the Oreo cookie’s 100th birthday and I had known absolutely nothing about this. Fortunately, TV was there to, yet again teach me everything I need to know. I spent what seemed […]

Your Authoritative Guide to Time’s Most Beautiful People

Get ready, folks. That time of year has arrived yet again. It’s time to prepare your self esteem for a heavy knock. Time to get out your pint of Haagen-Dazs and curl up on the couch, silently weeping into the bowl. Time Magazine has announced the MOST BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!* I’m not too […]