A Son’s Heart-Wrenching Plea

Image via SamSpratt.com

For the past year, I have silently been suffering. It has been a very rough time for me and the rest of my family as we have watched my mother slip into the deep abyss of a very troublesome addiction. For the past year, we can barely speak or communicate with her.

Now, though, I feel it is time to take a stand. For her sake and the sake of my family, we need to intervene. This is my open letter to her.

Dear Mother,

The happiest day of my life was the day you gave birth to me. Well, let me take a step back. I don’t really remember it at all, so it probably wasn’t the happiest day of my life. It was pretty good, I guess, but there was that day when I got charged for a small French fry at McDonald’s even though I had gotten a medium. That was pretty awesome.

Since that day, I have grown up with you. You did a fantastic job of making sure I survived childhood and I did a great job of doing whatever a kid is responsible for doing, which is mostly nothing. Then, as is bound to happen, I grew older. I graduated college and met a girl. We got married and I moved out. Through all of it, you were there for me.

Now, though, I see your life slipping away. Your family has a hard time communicating with you. We’re all very scared.

“Angry Birds” has taken over your life.

My wife called me one day. She told me that you had, in the midst of a conversation, screamed, “DIE PIGS!” At first, I was in denial. I told myself that you were just going through a phase and that soon you would move on to the next game. Then today, my sister asked to borrow your iPad. Instead of handing it over, I witnessed you say “I NEED to play ‘Angry Birds!’” as you clutched it tight to your chest.

Your problem is tearing this family apart and killing us.

Even as I write this, you are busy fighting with my sister over that same iPad. It might have a bit to do with her telling Siri to call you “Motor Oil” every single time you use the iPad, but I am certain it has more to do with your need for a sweet, flying bird fix.

Life has to change. Your family needs you. We deserve to live a life without worry that you will soon lock yourself in a dark room with your iPad, screaming at imaginary animals while you tell yourself that “it’s just a game.” I will not allow you and your birds to affect my life anymore.

Also, did you figure out how to beat level one of the “Surf and Turf” area? Oh, now probably isn’t the time to ask that. Oops.


13 thoughts on “A Son’s Heart-Wrenching Plea

  1. I started reading this to my mother, who was sitting next to me on the couch playing Angry Birds on her computer because her iPod is charging in the other room, and she tuned to me before I even finished reading the first paragraph and threatened to spit water at me if it was about Angry Birds. Angry Birds addicts may be more cranky and dangerous than actual drug addicts. Though I’ve never met an actual drug addict so my opinion may be a bit skewed.


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