The Uninspired Chronicles: I Overcame Writer’s Block, and You Can TOO!

Never one to turn down a challenge, I have written the following post in answer to a post by Riatarded.   Writer’s block is a difficult thing to overcome. As a person who has written a blog post everyday for the last 98 days, I have now overcome writer’s block 326 times in that time […]

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad March

It’s here! Finally the biggest and best day of the year has arrived. The NCAA tournament has begun! (Editor’s Note: Today is not really the most important day.) Wait… what do you mean it isn’t the most important day? (Editor’s Note: I mean it really is not that important of a day at all. Do […]

My Sincerest Apologies. It Appears That I May Suck.

Just days ago, I wrote a post declaring my predictions for the Oscars. I found it to be a mildly entertaining, albeit not fantastic, post that was worthy of being posted on my mildly entertaining, albeit not fantastic, blog. It was not the best thing I’ve ever written. That said, it was also not the […]

I Am an Award Winning Liar

When you have been blogging awhile, you are bound to be given “awards.” These “awards” are, in all actuality, chain posts that float from blogger to blogger, forcing others to give interesting facts about themselves before they pass along the assignment. These awards never carry any real sort of acknowledgement. There is no cash prize […]

How To Write Fiction That Will Knock Your Socks Off

For years, I’ve dreamed of writing a classic novel. I wanted to be mentioned in the same breath as Bradbury and Twain and that guy who wrote all of the DaVinci Code books. There was just one thing holding me back. I can’t write fiction. In the early 1900’s this would mean you had no […]

RU SRS?: The English Language is Dead

There is no way to turn on the news now without hearing about the presidential race. We are inundated with information about Newt Gingrich being a sleazy swinger, Mitt Romney flip-flopping, Ron Paul being borderline insane and the other candidates being uninteresting, but at the very least, living human beings. They are all campaigning on […]

People Found Out About My Blog and I Survived to Tell About It

The world is full of terrors. There are countless bad things looming at any minute. Car crashes, robberies, super-giant alien robot attacks all just seconds away at any point in time. For me, these things are all terrifying (particularly the robot item) but there is a fate worse than death to me. I would gladly […]

2012: The Year I Lose My Mind

It’s happened once again. After days of excitement and preparation, we stayed up late last night as some fellow who called himself Lady Gaga caused a giant ball to drop in New York City. People cheered and hollered and made out, with tongue, on national TV. We did not find this as uncomfortable to witness […]

I’m Sorry, Please Don’t Sue Me

I think it’s time for me to go into hiding. Apparently, my kind has been made enemy number one. For those who have not heard, a blogger by the name of Crystal Cox was ordered by an Oregon (Oregonian?) court to pay $2.5 million in a defamation suit. Cox is an investigative blogger who uncovers […]