That’s Quite Enough, Facebook

My dearest Facebook, There’s no easy way to say this. We’ve been together for nine years. We’ve been through thick and thin, good and bad, other clichés that contrast two very opposite things. We’ve had a lot of good times together, but we really need to talk. I think it’s time for us to take […]

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iPhone 5 Announced! Countdown to iPhone 6 Begins Now…

Apple announced today the preorder date for its upcoming iPhone 5, the most highly anticipated phone since the iPhone 4s was announced a year ago. Apple has done a great deal to improve on their flagship product. They have made it thinner and sleeker while at the same time making the screen larger. It’s enough […]

Power to the Online People

Sometimes it may seem to people that writing on the internet is a waste of time. For the most part it is. I mean, no one really needs to read about my attempts to hold in a sneeze. (Spoiler alert: The sneeze comes out before, ultimately, my head explodes.) In actuality, though, we are living […]

How To Add Facebook Friends Without Creeping People Out

Friendships used to be so simple. You met a person, spoke to the person, and within minutes you were friends. If you didn’t become friends, you went your separate ways and never spoke to each other again. Then Mark Zuckerberg screwed everything up. With the invention of Facebook, now people can have thousands of “friendships” […]

Science Tells Us Why Clowns Are Creepy, Still Unable to Say Why They Won’t Leave Us Alone

At some point in the history of mankind, adults made a very strange decision. They all got together and, after what I assume was a very tense back and forth debate, voted that kids love clowns. They decided clowns should be at any children’s event, terrorizing birthday parties, causing panic at circuses and carnivals, leading […]

The Mystery Voicemail

Nothing surprises me more than a voicemail. No one contacts me via telephone, so normally I am excited to answer. Somehow, though, an occasional call slips by me, only arriving as a voicemail. This was the situation I found myself in this evening as I looked at my phone. There, somehow going unnoticed throughout the […]

Farewell, Anonymity. We Hardly Knew Ye…

I don’t think there is a single thing in the history of the world that makes me happier than a comment section on the internet. Nothing gives me more joy than heading to YouTube, finding the latest adorable animal video, then commenting, “Why are you watching these cute animals when Obama is trying to literally […]