Madman For a Day

There’s something about being dangerous that is unbelievably exciting. I suppose that’s why “Breaking Bad” was such a huge TV show. Everyone secretly wants to be a dangerous, murderous meth kingpin. Fortunately, most people are happy to live vicariously through fictional characters instead of cooking the purest meth known to man. I’ve never been considered […]

You Are My Nemesis, You Are My Car

Okay, car. This is it. After months of clashing, after all of the turmoil you have put me through, you have gone for the checkmate, trying your best to end our battles. Our epic tale began like so many before it. I, desperately in need of a car, was offered the opportunity to purchase transportation. […]

Soccer: The One Sport Americans Will Not Care About

There are certain things Americans do that make us the butt of jokes across the world. We deep fry everything and dump cheese on it. We drive giant gas-guzzling SUV’s. We watch “Two and a Half Men.” (If the world doesn’t make fun of us for that, they should.) One of the biggest differences between […]

If You Can’t Stand The Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen. You Might Also Want to Avoid My Car.

In Wichita, KS this week, there was a heat burst. Within twenty minutes, the heat had risen from mid-80’s to 102. While most people read this story and thought, “Sucks to be Wichita” (By the way, it does. It’s not the most pleasant town ever), I read it and was instantly able to relate. My […]

The Great Carwash Adventure (That would be an incredible Indiana Jones movie!)

Kansas City experienced its first taste of spring today. What a glorious taste it was. The sun beamed down on the world, illuminating the layers of dust my vehicle had accumulated. See, my vehicle collects dust like Flava Flav collects racial stereotypes, meaning it really collects dust. Walking to my car, I thought to myself, […]