Chocolate: A Real Weakness

In the break room at work, you are bound to run across interesting conversations. More often, though, you are going to hear the same conversations over and over. The break room is not a place to break ground conversationally, lest you choose your conversational choice poorly and spend the next 40 years known as the […]

No, I Am Not Jealous of Your Shorts…

The other night, I was enjoying a delightful evening of family time. We had just eaten dinner and, much to my wife’s chagrin, were settling in for an evening of playoff baseball. Things were going strong when my sister came down the stairs in a ridiculous pair of shorts. There were animals involved and a […]

Skipping And Restrooms, Together At Last

I don’t understand why movie theatres sell large drinks. They find suckers like me and post pictures of drinks, almost as if to say, “A movie is a REALLY long time to go without some sort of refreshment. Good luck with your dry and itchy throat!” I almost have no choice but to spend every […]

My Wife’s Birthday

In honor of my wife’s birthday, I have written an extra special haiku just for her. I hope ancient Japanese forms of poetry count as a gift.     My Wife’s Birthday Happy Birthday, wife of mine Cake and candles and…. uh…..gifts… It’s the thought that counts? Related Articles Piece of Cake: Why Cakes are […]

The Candy Store Fiasco

When one moves to a new place there are a few important things to locate. You should know where your local hospital is. You need to find a grocery store because the alternative to that is either hunting or gathering, neither of which I would be good at, or starving to death. Most importantly, though, […]

Ironing: Just Another Gap in My Basic Knowledge

There are many things in life my genes did not equip me to do. I will never wear normal sized gloves, hats, pants, or, I would assume, any sort of outfit consisting of the three (a pair of glhants?). When spring rolls around, I will spend two month being unable to breathe correctly. It is […]