The Amazing Elastic Ankles and the Adventure of the Family Pictures

Occasionally, you discover something about yourself that you never dreamed possible. Throughout your whole life, you had never thought about the possibility that you could be this thing and even if you had, you would have scoffed at the idea. Today, I found out I am a contortionist. Like most self-discovery, it came at a […]


Beauty: The Ultimate Hardship

The internet is full of jerks. No story can be posted without a comment or two from mental defectives hoping to make themselves look cool. It’s like being on the elementary school playground, the only difference being that MOST, not ALL of the bullies still live in their parents’ house. While every post is subject […]

“My Life as a Gym-Rat,” aka “I Paid Money to Sweat in a Room Full of Strangers?”

As I type this, I can feel my entire torso tensing up. I feel tired and just want to lie down and avoid moving. I guess that’s what I get for trying to be healthy. My healthful efforts began as an earnest attempt at avoiding becoming a giant tub of lard. When you spend most […]