Baseball and Public Intoxication: What a Pair of Bedfellows!

One of the great parts of any professional sporting event is people watching. There is a virtual smorgasbord of people from all walks of life converging into a sea of cheering fans. None of these are as entertaining, obnoxious, or obnoxiously entertaining as the drunk fan. How do you honor a group that provides so […]


The Great Basement Flood of 2012: A Haiku

With the aftermath of my Sunday evening flood still alive, I am in the midst of cleaning up the random dirt that has washed into my basement.   While this is not the most exciting activity ever, it has not crushed my poetic spirit. In fact, I wrote a haiku just for the basement flood: […]

Happy Easter! Enjoy Your Rabbit Eggs…

Easter is full of a great number of things. Delicious egg shaped candies. Terrible egg shaped candies. Pastel colors. Awkwardness when you wish a person of Jewish descent “Happy Easter.” The most popular of these things, though, seems to be the Easter Bunny. Yes, the legend of a hermaphroditic rabbit (seriously, look it up) has […]

Happy 100th Birthday, Oreo. You Don’t Taste a Day Over 75.

I was peacefully minding my own business today when something appeared on my TV screen that disturbed me greatly. It seems that 2012 is the Oreo cookie’s 100th birthday and I had known absolutely nothing about this. Fortunately, TV was there to, yet again teach me everything I need to know. I spent what seemed […]

Twas Two Nights Before Christmas

Twas two nights before Christmas And all through the town The men were panicked for no gift had they found. “I’m dead meat, I’m done,” They cried in defeat As some other lucky husband grabbed the last jewelry that was cheap. They went to store after store But to no avail As the hours were […]

Thursday Haikus

Today is a very busy day. Despite this, I have taken the time to jot down a few haikus for you. It is, after all, Haiku Thursday. Busy Many things to do, Yet, I sit here typing this. What a waste of time. Ode to Fiber My dear friend fiber, Your gift: bowel integrity. Soften, […]

Thursday Haiku

Films: Ultimate art. Express man’s struggles, mirror them. What? “Battleship”?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Related articles Star Wars Week ( Haiku Heights – String ( Haiku (