Choose Your Own Adventure: “The Ladore Luger: Part 1”

Today is the first segment of our new Choose Your Own Adventure series, “The Ladore Luger.” (Don’t worry. The title will make sense.) Enjoy and remember: you will be responsible for the decisions 16-year-old Billy Hamilton makes.   “Billy!” The voice rang off of the walls and echoed through the hall, forcing its way into […]

Oh, Great! NOW It’s the Year of the Dragon…

There are several reasons I am jealous of the Chinese culture. They have a Great Wall. Their generals are not known for killing, but for being delicious chicken dishes. They can actually read the tattoos that ditzy blond ladies get and know for a fact that it does not say beautiful, but rather “truly dumb […]

Surfing Dogs and Kenny G: The Rose Parade Returns

In my lifetime, I have witnessed dozens of parades. I’ve marched in parades. I’ve watched parades from the sidewalk and from a comfy seat on my couch. Eventually, though, my attention span dissipates and I begin thinking about the mysteries of the universe such as the meaning of life or how they get the moving […]

2012: The Year I Lose My Mind

It’s happened once again. After days of excitement and preparation, we stayed up late last night as some fellow who called himself Lady Gaga caused a giant ball to drop in New York City. People cheered and hollered and made out, with tongue, on national TV. We did not find this as uncomfortable to witness […]

Your Handy Dandy Guide to New Years’ Resolutions

With the New Year just around the corner, it has come to my attention that people don’t know how to pick New Year’s resolutions. It can be hard to decide how you need to better yourself. You, as you are well aware, are perfect in every way and have no major issues that need fixed. […]