No, Sir, Your Salvador Dali Tattoo Does Not Impress Me

In Nashville, there is a burrito place I like to visit. This is because they have the best burritos a person could ever imagine. It is like someone took Chipotle, then decided to make it roughly 80% better. Then they added Horchata at the beverage station, effectively creating the greatest restaurant ever. The restaurant must […]

Operation Boob Tube, Part 1

2013 Goal #28: Get On TV Everyone wants to be on TV. There is nothing more exciting than knowing that there are possibly millions of human beings looking at your face. Sure, many of them will change the channel to something more entertaining and even more of them will only watch you because they are […]

Update: Tennessee Drivers Continue to Scare Me

Yesterday, I wrote what I consider to be a witty piece about the drivers in Tennessee. In short, I said that they are not so good at the steering and braking and that I spend every second that I am on the road trying my best to avoid a fiery and unpleasant death. I am […]

Thanks For the Death Reminders, Tennessee

Driving in Nashville is a dangerous affair. Having spent my entire driving career in Kansas City, I was used to a certain type of driver. Everyone will drive ten miles over the speed limit. Everyone will tailgate. Everyone will drive stupidly in the rain, sleet, snow, ice, hail, or any other perceivable thing that might […]

Breaking News: Someone Has Finally Found a Way To Get Me to Stop Eating Fried Chicken

When traveling, there are a few rules I always try to abide by. Firstly, do not, under any circumstance, look like a tourist. When one is traveling with me, fanny packs, daypacks, cameras strapped around the neck at the ready, or any other telltale sign of tourism are prohibited. You might as well wear a […]

Hockey: The Crack Cocaine of Sports

On a cold winter’s day, hundreds of years ago, a man sat outside his village staring at a frozen lake. Hours passed and he continued sitting there, lost in his own thoughts. His eyes had not strayed from that lake as he sat, oblivious to the rest of the world. Very rarely did someone leave […]