The Sleep Deprivation Chronicle

Sleep is a very good thing. On an average day, my brain can barely focus on one thing for longer than thirty seconds. The last week, though, has been a week devoid of sleep. No dozes, snoozes, naps, siestas, or slumbers. Just a small amount of sleep before I am awakened to start yet another […]

Babies: The World’s Most Adorable Money Suck

Disclaimer: The following post involves shopping for items that would be involved in the raising of a child. If you are a parent of either myself or my wife, I must warn you this does not imply we are considering having a child right now. It was for a friend. Once again, not right now. […]

Great. Now I Can’t Trust Anything the Mayans Say…

With only two hours left until the calendar rolls over to December 22nd, it looks like the Mayan prophecy predicting the end of the world was wrong. There have been no colliding planets or fire or brimstone. It has been a fairly uneventful day. Knowing that the world still exists, there are several other Mayan […]

Calm Down! The Government Says The World Is Not Doomed.

It is just mere weeks until December 21. For most people, this means nothing. Those people are just walking around in a world of unicorns and fairy dust, expecting a rainbow to appear and rain down gummy bears. Everyone who knows anything knows that December 21st marks the end of the Mayan calendar and that […]

Nik Wallenda: Following His Dreams Even Though They Are Completely Insane

All around the world, people’s eyes were glued to their television set this evening. There, a man spoke, declaring the importance of following one’s dreams. He spoke about the time he had spent pursuing his biggest goal in life and how you can do anything you want if you work hard enough. It was very […]

Nathan Vs. The Treadmill: A Battle For The Ages

I have never fully understood exercising. I do know the general purpose, but the idea seems odd to me. Why would I run if nothing is chasing me? What part of seeing a heavy piece of metal makes a person go, “I will lift that, and I will lift it for 5 sets of ten” […]

Scientists Find Dark Brooding Replacement for Pluto

For years students have learned about our solar system and the planets in boring old science classes. They would have to recite the planets in order from the sun over and over. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto. A pandemic of boredom inflicted our schools, killing at least 1,000. It was old, […]