Pillows: Man’s Best Friend

You know how people say that a dog is man’s best friend? That’s wrong. A dog is a man’s responsibility. A dog is a little poop factory that’s only goal in life is to eat food directly off of your plate the second you turn around. If anything, dogs are man’s neediest friend. There is […]

Skipping And Restrooms, Together At Last

I don’t understand why movie theatres sell large drinks. They find suckers like me and post pictures of drinks, almost as if to say, “A movie is a REALLY long time to go without some sort of refreshment. Good luck with your dry and itchy throat!” I almost have no choice but to spend every […]

Ready to Use Patio Furniture, Some Assembly Required

I have always fancied myself good at puzzles. Sudoku’s? I’m a master. Crosswords? What’s a five letter word for “an action Nathan employs against even the most difficult crosswords?” (Crush) There is a type of puzzle, though, that is more challenging than any other. A puzzle so devious that the very sight of it is […]