The Third Time Is Absolutely Not The Charm

At some point in the history of the English language, someone created the phrase “The third time is the charm.” This seems to make very little sense. If I have already failed at something twice, it seems highly unlikely that I will suddenly be able to complete it that third time. I definitely haven’t had […]

No, I Am Not Jealous of Your Shorts…

The other night, I was enjoying a delightful evening of family time. We had just eaten dinner and, much to my wife’s chagrin, were settling in for an evening of playoff baseball. Things were going strong when my sister came down the stairs in a ridiculous pair of shorts. There were animals involved and a […]

All Hail King of the Words

When I was a kid, people would always ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Unlike most kids, I never wanted to be a firefighter or astronaut or ostrich-riding cowboy on the Serengeti desert, wielding only an ice cream-shooting gun for protection (Sometimes, kids are not realistic). I never had a […]

Dear Nathan: The Greatest Advice Ever Given

In the 24 years I have been on this planet, I have learned one very important thing: I am a genius. I’m not talking about Einstein-level of genius. I am talking about a much more superior level of genius, the likes of which have not been seen ever. It would be easy to use my […]