Mars: Just Like Earth, But Redder and Not As Easy To Live On

The world can be a depressing place. There are all sorts of terrible things happening at any one time. Just today, someone at work drank the last of the coffee and DIDN’T MAKE ANY MORE! I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE, BARBARIANS?! JUST MAKE THE COFFEE! IT TAKES ALL OF 30 SECONDS! AND WHILE WE’RE AT […]

Great. Now I Can’t Trust Anything the Mayans Say…

With only two hours left until the calendar rolls over to December 22nd, it looks like the Mayan prophecy predicting the end of the world was wrong. There have been no colliding planets or fire or brimstone. It has been a fairly uneventful day. Knowing that the world still exists, there are several other Mayan […]

Calm Down! The Government Says The World Is Not Doomed.

It is just mere weeks until December 21. For most people, this means nothing. Those people are just walking around in a world of unicorns and fairy dust, expecting a rainbow to appear and rain down gummy bears. Everyone who knows anything knows that December 21st marks the end of the Mayan calendar and that […]

Happy Earth Day

Today is Earth Day, the day that, according to Wikipedia is an “annual day on which events are held worldwide to increase awareness and appreciation of the Earth’s natural environment.” In honor of this spirit, I have included the following letter to Earth for everyone to sign:   Simply print this letter, sign it, take to your backyard […]

Add Sinkholes to the List of Things That Go Bump In The Night

I’ve had nights where I can’t sleep. For whatever reason, I am preoccupied with what might be happening the next day or I’m distracted by the noises coming from my neighbor’s bedroom. My old neighbor was very raucous. Eventually, though, I just fall asleep and wake up the next day. I’m not usually traumatized (unless […]