The Wacky World of Coke

The commercial was like countless others before it. Person after person sharing a Coke under the guise of making someone happy. In fact, in many ways it was less subtle as the song playing in the background spelled it out time and time again. Make Someone Happy There is nothing wrong with this message. The […]


Coffee or Coffeeish?

In an office environment, there is always something to complain about. It could be that boss who has been in management so long they have lost all touch with reality. It could be that coworker’s insistence on having a mid-afternoon snack break followed by the mid-afternoon experiencing of terrible Frito breath. It could be any […]

All Of The World’s Worst People Back Into Parking Spots

I don’t usually use this blog space to state my personal beliefs. I usually avoid the hard hitting issues, preferring to talk about my love of peanut butter cups or my dislike anything that has ever been on “The Jersey Shore.” I feel, though, that I have been silent on one issue for far too […]

Ever Wished You Could Drink Bacon? No, Me Neither…

It is always a good idea when you are in a new city to try to get your bearings. If you do not, there is a strong likelihood that you will wander into the wrong neighborhood and get stabbed repeatedly in the face and/or neck. Having arrived in Nashville yesterday and wishing to avoid any […]

Coffee Shop Writing: Millions of Starbucks Patrons Can’t Be Wrong!

  Admittedly, I am not the coolest person in the world. I do not know the popular music of the day (“People still like Chumbawumba, right?”) and I have never seen, read, or paid any attention to anything involving “Twilight.” I do not know anything about Tom Cruise’s divorce aside from the fact that Cruise […]

Yumberries: The Aptly Named Fruit That Has Made a Fool of America

I am a very mild-mannered person who is very able to keep his emotions in check. There’s not a lot in life that gets my goat. Sure, I have been known to shout threats of physical violence to people who say that they “could care less” about something, but aside from general speech related pet […]

Quik-Trip: Where the Weirdos Come Out to Play

The weirdos always come out at night. I’ve always known this. Ever since the first time I shopped with random families of seven and possible drug addicts on a late night Wal-Mart trip, I’ve been very aware. No one normal is out after 11 p.m.That’s just the way it is. These trips led to a […]

Like Applebee’s, Olive Garden Loves Drunken Toddlers

You might recall mere days ago, I tried to defend Applebee’s against the unjust allegations that they were trying to give alcohol to a toddler when they, in fact, ACCIDENTALLY gave a toddler alcohol. Big difference. Yesterday, after the uproar had reached a fever pitch (and by fever pitch, I mean it was on a […]