Watch Your Back, Flies. My Wife is After You…

My house has become a fly danger zone. Every three to four seconds, I hear a loud “FWAP” followed by my wife screaming “I GOT YOU, FLY!” She will then proceed to dance over the fly’s dead body, admiring her kill. She is a bit strange. As the more sensitive person in the relationship, I […]

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If a Tree Can Get a Book Deal…

I walked out of my apartment today to the most glorious sight I had ever laid eyes on: Spring! Everywhere I looked, flowers were blooming, grass was turning green, people, pale from their winter hibernation, were exposing their incredibly pasty legs to the world. Life was good. With beautiful spring weather bringing life back to […]