No You Aren’t Paranoid, They Really Are Watching You

One day, many years ago, mankind was created. We could spend all day debating how this happened, whether some sort of slimy creature crawled out of the ocean and decided they would rather walk on two legs, build civilizations, and create marvels of human creation like the pyramids or the Big Mac, or whether some […]

“My Life as a Gym-Rat,” aka “I Paid Money to Sweat in a Room Full of Strangers?”

As I type this, I can feel my entire torso tensing up. I feel tired and just want to lie down and avoid moving. I guess that’s what I get for trying to be healthy. My healthful efforts began as an earnest attempt at avoiding becoming a giant tub of lard. When you spend most […]

Nathan Sell’s Out

Anyone who grew up in the nineties, listened to music in the nineties or was even alive and conscious in nineties has heard of the Goo Goo Dolls. The band is a quintessential nineties band, releasing such hits as “Iris,” a song that everyone has heard at least once, whether they know it or not. […]

New Record To Beat: 25,000 Big Macs

I don’t remember my first trip to McDonalds. There is a very specific reason for that: I feel nothing about McDonalds. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it, I nothing it. In fact, the best way to describe McDonalds is with a quick “meh.” And, yes, that is to be said in the middle […]