Ship In A Bottle: The Only Transportation That Can Be Measured In Ounces

From time to time, my mind tends to wander. I like to blame it on the media. I once read an article online explaining that TV is responsible for people’s ridiculously short attention spans. I’m not too sure how it ended because about four paragraphs in I remembered that there were a lot of YouTube videos I hadn’t caught up on yet, but the headline was pretty clear that it was all TV’s fault.

When my mind begins to wander, there is no telling where it will end up. It’s like spinning a giant wheel with everything single I have ever heard on it and it rarely ever lands on something logical.

Today I found myself drifting off and, naturally, my thoughts landed on the classic ship in a bottle. For those who have never seen a ship in a bottle, I will try to explain it clearly and succinctly: it is a ship inside of a bottle. That is it. I guess there wasn’t really a need for explanation there.

I have no idea who dreamed up the ship in a bottle. It seems like the strangest idea a person could come up with. The best I can figure out, someone a long time ago had a decent sized bottle of liquor. As there was no television or internet in that day, he did not have much else to do but to drink that liquor and soon the bottle was empty. The very intoxicated man looked at the bottle.

“There should be a ship in that,” the man stammered, wildly gesturing in the general direction of the bottle. His first attempt failed as he soon vomited all over his tiny ship, but soon enough the man’s drunken dreams had come true. He had put a ship in a bottle.

Making a ship in a bottle can’t be an easy task. I have devised a plan, though, if I decide to ever venture into the ship in a bottle world. First, I will build something much easier. I think I would start with a kayak in a cup. Then, once I had mastered that, I would move onto something like a dinghy in a jar. After I am able to perfect the air boat in a mug, the catamaran in a glass, and the yacht in a canteen, I would finally be ready to put a ship in a bottle.

Of course, then I would have to figure out how to brag about my new hobby. I am not too sure exactly how you would tell a person that you have built a multiple number of these things. You can’t call them ships in a bottle as that implies that you have put several ships inside of one single bottle and, trust me, I am not advanced enough for that yet. Ship in a bottles sounds like I took a single ship, broke it into pieces, then placed each piece into a separate bottle. That would not be an accomplishment at all, but it would a much easier hobby to take up. I suppose you would call them ships-in-bottles, but I also suppose it doesn’t matter as no one would want to hear you talk about that hobby anyway.

I think it’s high time we update the transportation we put in a bottle. No one has traveled by ship since the 1800’s. I think I should be the first person to build a Nissan Altima in a bottle. Of course, I don’t know if a standard bottle would work for a Nissan Altima. I might need to have a custom bottle made for this.

Maybe I should take up glass blowing…

4 thoughts on “Ship In A Bottle: The Only Transportation That Can Be Measured In Ounces

    • No. I was reading something on Wikipedia, I began clicking links, and the next thing I knew I was reading about a ship in a bottle. Wikipedia pretty much decides what I am going to think about on a daily basis.


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