Take Your Time. I Get Paid Hourly.

By Nissy-KITAQ (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Dear Old Navy employee,

Greetings and a heartfelt salutations to you. You may remember me from a bit earlier today as I stood out quite a bit. While everyone else visiting the Old Navy today was interested in trying on armfuls of brightly colored dresses, I was the gentleman who wanted to try on a single pair of sensible dark blue slacks.

I want to start by saying I do not have any qualms about the service that I received while visiting your dressing room. You did an excellent job. For instance, I thought it was an example of great customer service the way you knocked on the door of the dressing room before opening it and letting me in. You were very courteous and made sure that, after my session of trying on unfamiliar pants, that those pants were what I was looking for. Then, when they were not, the way you politely took them from me was masterful.

No, the reason I am writing you has nothing to do with your work ethic itself. It has more to do with an article of clothing you were wearing. Now, I know the Old Navy is a casual work environment, so I was not expecting you to wear a pantsuit or some sort of cocktail dress. The fact that you were wearing a t-shirt with a humorous slogan on the front was very fitting to your work situation. It has more to do with the slogan on the shirt itself.

Take your time. I get paid hourly.

I do want to offer up a hardy kudos to you for choosing a very honest shirt. This was not one of those humorous t-shirts that make me think you are attempting to be ironic with your shirt choice. You are, in fact, paid hourly. Your shirt was simply expressing the situation you find yourself currently in.

However, it seems to me that at a job, this would probably not be the best clothing option. Now, I am no expert on what is and is not the finest idea in the workplace, but I would guess that this message is probably not exactly what you would like to convey to your boss. Everyone wants their boss to think they are working very hard, so a shirt that seems to say, “The longer you take, the more money I get,” does not help you further your career at the Old Navy.

It would be different, I suppose, if this was a product your store was selling. In that scenario, you are just representing the company. Then your bosses would see you wearing that and instead of seeing a money-hungry slacker, they would see an employee exemplifying the attitude of the company by showcasing some of the sassier wear that is available to customers.

After a search on your website, though, I found out this was not an Old Navy shirt at all. That means that you had worn a foreign t-shirt into work and it happened to be a t-shirt that seems to imply that you are not too concerned with getting a great deal done.

Maybe I am thinking about this all wrong. After all, the shirt was saying that there was no rush for me to hurry. Perhaps it is actually excellent customer service, letting the consumer know that they do not need to rush as you will be getting paid the same amount either way. Looking at it that way, it seems to be a good choice, I suppose.

On the off-chance you think your bosses might not approve, though, I would recommend not wearing that t-shirt again. Instead, I have written a new slogan for you to have emblazoned on a shirt that might show your bosses just how hard you want to work.

Could you hurry? I get paid hourly and I would like to jam as much work as I can into the hour so that, at the end of the day, I can say that I really gave it my all for the company that signs my paychecks.

Sure, it may be wordy, but I think you will find the extra words were worth it when you get a well-deserved $0.50 per hour raise.





6 thoughts on “Take Your Time. I Get Paid Hourly.

  1. Henry Game doesn’t know what to say…Henry had a T-shirt with a humorous slogan once, it simply said;
    Now, this does not mean that Henry wants to, or has ever, made love to himself, if that is possible. So, the T-shirt your fellow was wearing is probably not a true representation of the poor sods feelings. Do not let Henry’s comments detract from, what is, a very well written blog. And humorous in a sarcastic way, if this is what you intended, then well done. However, I do not think you did mean to be dry…or if you did, then I’d say perhaps too dry…its ok when talking in direct conversation because body language and facial expressions complement the message delivered by your words. Here, you just simply seem to be having a good moan. And I would not have even thought otherwise, if not for the tag ‘humour”.
    It did cross my mind, are you this kid’s boss?
    Please do not take this as negative feedback, it is constructive criticism! You are a good writer. Henry is trying to help steer you into a GREAT writer.


    • First, I would like to say it is possible to make love to yourself. Ask most teenage boys and they will tell you that.

      It was meant to be dry and sarcastic, but at the same time pointing out that this does not seem like a fantastic idea. I would not, for example, wear a shirt on a date with my wife that says “I wish I were anywhere but here at this second.” The shirt you refer to would probably, much like this employee’s shirt, not be the best thing to wear to, say, speed dating. Humorous shirts (I use the term humorous loosely) do not belong everywhere, particularly when they are referring to the thing that you are currently do at that very moment in time.

      Oh, and no, I do not work with this young lady.

      To me, it seems pretty obvious that this was a tongue-in-cheek post. I prefer my humor extra-dry. Dehydrated even. As far as my humor goes, there should be no moisture anywhere near it, lest it become moldy and develop a severe case of wood rot. Also, apparently I picture humor as some sort of object made of wood, so that’s interesting.

      Anyway, thanks for reading. I can’t guarantee that my humor will be any less dry in the future (in fact, I can guarantee it most likely will not be), but hopefully you’ll read again anyway.

      Oh, and you really like referring to yourself in the third person, I see. Or maybe you have a case of Dissociative Identity Disorder and one of your personalities is writing this about Henry. If that is the case, tell Henry I say hello.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Now that was funny!! This made Henry laugh! And yes, Henry does often refer to himself in the third person. Whether or not masturbation would be classified as ‘making love’? Not sure, but not what Henry meant by that statement…I do not think I/we need to go into any more detail.
        Henry will read again, and he hopes that you maybe allow, just a touch more…clarity or feeling show through the blog, so that your personality transfers through your writing. Henry will follow and read. However, if he has caused offence or upset…maybe he should refrain from trying to help you.


  2. I liked her T-shirt better than your wordy slogan! I took it to mean – there is nothing more important to me than my customer’s happiness. Since I am not paid on a commission basis, I will not try to pressure you to buy something you may not want or to hurry you through your buying experience so I can rush off to the next customer. Take your time, I am happy to look after you.


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