Last Thursday was the first day of spring. That should mean that the world should be filled with blooming flowers, sunshine warming the previously frozen world with its golden rays, with growth and the rebirth of nature.
Instead, today it was near freezing temperatures. Snow was coming down so hard it looked like we were living in a bad disaster movie and the gusting wind blew the flakes so that it was actually snowing horizontally. There was no sun to be seen, its golden rays hidden behind a bunch of stupid gray clouds. With it being spring, you would think this type of hostile weather would bum me out. This is not the case, though.
Instead, I am living in what I like to call “The Great State of Denial.”
Yes, while all of my coworkers were grousing about, I was happily enjoying the wonderful spring weather. See, in my mind it was a beautiful 70 degrees. Instead of the howling wind and chattering of teeth (people in Tennessee are not very tolerant of cold), I only heard the faint chirping of birds in the distance.
Living in “The Great State of Denial” is amazing. You can make the weather whatever you want it to be. No longer are you confined by the arbitrary decisions of Mother Nature. Now you are completely in control for yourself.
The steps are simple. First, you find something to wear that says, “Hey, welcome back Spring!” I chose a yellow polo shirt. This decision was made for two reasons. Yellow seems like a very warm, springy color. In addition, the short sleeves are my way of telling the weather that I just do not give a darn about what it thinks. Not one single solitary darn.
Next, you leave the house without a jacket. Sure, it may be cold, but if you ignore the cold long enough and just think nice warm thoughts, soon you will find yourself on a nice walk through a springtime meadow. You will not feel a single bit of cold at all. This might actually be the beginning stages of hypothermia, but who cares? No one gets hypothermia in the spring, so you certainly do not.
Some people might look at you strangely. As I was walking around in my springtime attire, I passed several people who were bundled up like it was the first week of January. Those people definitely thought I had lost it, but they just have not discovered the joys of “The Great State of Denial” and instead had decided to live in “The Mediocre State of Actuality.”
Now, I must warn you, “The Great State of Denial” can be very powerful. You will want to use it very sparingly. Some people get lost in the power and the next thing they know, they are quitting their job to go into modelling or trying to pick a fight with a complete stranger. Yes, “The Great State of Denial” has gotten the best of many people in life and convinced them that they are some sort of superhuman. They are certainly not superhuman in any way.
Just a visit to “The Great State of Denial” every so often, though, can be like a terrific holiday away from whatever would get you down. After all, why should a person be stuck in reality when they can just deny its existence?
Look, we have to experience spring somehow. Apparently the weather is not going to do it for us, so I guess this is the next best way.