My Computer Is Such A Slacker

Mondays can be rough. In the immortal words of the great Garfield, “I hate Mondays,” and keep in mind that is the sentiment of a cat. All he really has to do every Monday is nap in the sunlight near a window and groom himself. Imagine how he would feel if he were human.

I walked into work today ready to get work done. I booted up my computer and went to the coffee. On Mondays, coffee is very necessary for survival. Without it, I am fairly certain I would just crawl under my desk and curl up. I would have no choice.

When I arrived at my computer, it was ready for me. I typed in my password and began to log into my system. Taking a sip of coffee, I waited. It seemed that on this particular Monday, the computer had about as much energy as I did. I waited and waited until, at last, the desktop appeared on my monitor. Before I could open anything up, though, a message box appeared.

Computer must be restarted to install updates.

It was a bit aggravating, but I understood. This was a necessary happenstance. I hit restart and waited, enjoying my coffee. I chatted with a coworker for a few minutes before heading back to my computer. I sat back down, typed in my password, and waited again. Again, the desktop appeared.

Computer must be restarted to install updates.

I just stared at the message. I was pretty sure I had just restarted my computer to install updates. My computer should be very updated. It should currently be the most up to date computer on the entire planet, yet it seems that it was not. My computer, instead of getting its work done as requested, had looked at the updates and said, “I think I would rather not.” Sometimes technology can really slack off.

I grabbed the mouse with a bit more force this time, dragging it to the Start menu and hitting restart. This time, I did not go anywhere. I waited, typed in my password, waited some more…

Computer must be restarted to install updates.

Silently, I began to wonder how much trouble I would be in if I were to chuck this particular piece of technology out of the nearby window. Seeing as how the windows do not open, I would guess a fair amount. Coming back from a weekend, this is the last thing I wanted.

I think there should be a rule throughout the world called “The Monday Rule.” The rule is simple: if you arrive on a Monday and something prevents you from doing work, you should be allowed to go back home, get back in bed, and not come back until Tuesday. Some would argue that this would slow down a company’s productivity. I would make the counterargument that I really do not care if it slows down productivity when I am not working and, if this attitude is a problem, I would point out that this is attitude that my computer currently has.

When my computer restarted, it went to the desktop. I waited and waited for the message, but it never came. Finally, I could get to work. I double-clicked and opened my email.

Windows does not recognize username.

Sigh…