Dear toaster-using coworker,
I want to take a second to tell you what a fantastic coworker you have been. Seriously, you have been top notch. I mean, in the time we have worked together, we have shared a lot of laughs. Who can forget the incident with Jeff’s birthday cake? I don’t think they’ll ever get that icing off of the ceiling tiles!
I do have one issue I would like to bring up, though. Perhaps you should be a bit more attentive.
The other day, I was sitting at my desk. It was midafternoon and we were, as always, getting stuff done. That’s when I smelled the distinctive aroma of burning toast.
Seeing that it was the middle of the afternoon, I assumed that no one would actually be making toast. The next logical conclusion was that I was having a stroke.
I immediately began Googling signs of a stroke. This is probably not what a person’s first course of action should be when they think they are experiencing a medical condition, but that’s what I chose to do. After reading through symptoms, I came to conclusion that it was not a stroke. Then, glancing towards the break room, I saw you standing next to the toaster, scorched bread in hand.
Now, I understand that the toaster is complicated. It does have a lever and four buttons, so it is essentially like piloting a space shuttle. It does seem to me, though, that you could have noticed that this toast was burning and stopped this.
In conclusion, I look forward to more great times, but I will quickly end our friendship if you continue to burn bread on your weird and confusing afternoon toast break.
I guess it could be worse. You aren’t microwaving cabbage like Margie did the other day. That would be unforgivable.