Great. Now I Can’t Trust Anything the Mayans Say…

English: Mayan calendar created by a modern cr...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With only two hours left until the calendar rolls over to December 22nd, it looks like the Mayan prophecy predicting the end of the world was wrong. There have been no colliding planets or fire or brimstone. It has been a fairly uneventful day.

Knowing that the world still exists, there are several other Mayan prophecies that should be questioned. For some reason, I feel like these things are most likely not going to happen:


December 22nd, 2012: The world, having ended the day before, comes back and begins functioning again, officially becoming the first “Undead Planet.”

October 2nd, 2013: Having become tired of circling the Earth, the moon begins orbiting Venus. In turn, the Earth begins orbiting Jupiter, Mars orbits Mercury, and the rest of the planets stay stationary.

May 13th, 2014: A great war breaks out between the powers of Taco Bell and Jack in the Box. Millions are killed and a lot of food is wasted.

May 23rd, 2014: Having gorged themselves with tacos and sourdough burgers that were mysteriously littering the streets, thousands of birds die of cardiac arrest simultaneously.

January 3rd, 2015: Sick of protesting, the Westboro Baptist church forms a family folk band and strikes it rich with their hit single, “Love Makes The World Go Round.”

August 3rd, 2016: The Rolling Stones go on a tour and then never play together again.

March 13th, 2018: Scientists discover the cure for cancer is, ironically, cigarettes, high levels of radiation, sun exposure, diet soda, and cell phone use.

5 thoughts on “Great. Now I Can’t Trust Anything the Mayans Say…

  1. What if the world already “ended” but the definition is all relative to the individual. My ‘ended’ is not the same as your ‘ended.’

    Some say the world ended when Justin Bieber came onto the scene. I assume that’s what they mean when they say “The world’s gone to pot.”

    Or perhaps everything has been perpetually repeating itself? If that’s the case, I wonder if we’re wise enough to fix those things we said “Hmmm, in retrospect, we should have done that…or not done that.” or if we’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes continually? Hmmm, that would suck, but appropriate for human nature.

    By the way, have you missed me? Apparently, my version of the world already ended, was gone for a bit, and now I’m back like a scratched record. Pondering stuff like this…pondering stuff like this…pondering stuff like this…



  2. I wasn’t worried at all… I got the new 5000+ year new Mayan calendar by mail in early December (my family has subscribed for eons). When you get yours, check out Miss July 2156…wow!


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