The Life and Times of Nathan Badley...

Dear man in front of me at the gas station,

Hello. It’s great to talk to you. You might remember me. I’m the person who was behind you in line at the gas station that seemed to be slightly impatient.

While I’m sure you thought this was rude, let me explain myself.

While I was at work, I had a craving for a delightful beverage, more specifically a carbonated soda-like beverage. Since I do not carry a soda machine around with me most days due to the massive weight of it, I did not have this drink with me.

Over lunch I drove to the gas station nearest my place of employment to procure such a beverage. After minutes of deliberation, I settled on a nice Diet Mountain Dew. I like Diet Mountain Dew because it has all of that wonderful Mountain Dew flavor with none of…

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