Yesterday, I wrote what I consider to be a witty piece about the drivers in Tennessee. In short, I said that they are not so good at the steering and braking and that I spend every second that I am on the road trying my best to avoid a fiery and unpleasant death. I am certain that, if my readership were larger, this would have been a very controversial piece. Fortunately my blog reaches an audience of eight people (four if you remove my immediate family), so I did not feel this backlash.
I was briefly concerned, though, that Tennessee drivers would be offended. The last thing I want is for them to get behind the wheel while upset. I thought that I might have been a bit harsh. They could not be that bad at driving.
Then this evening, I pulled into a parking lot. As I was driving, I saw a car whip out of its spot. The driver had opted to ignore the fact that it was dark outside, declining the option of headlights. I slammed on my brakes and watched them quickly dart through another spot, nearly taking out a handicapped sign and a cart corral.
Therefore, Tennessee, you will not be receiving an apology from me. You will get credit for stocking Diet Red Crème Soda in your grocery stores, but I will continue to be terrified of every vehicle on Nashville’s roads.
Maybe if everyone drove bumper cars…