Why I Will Never Travel the Globe In A Hot Air Balloon

-Riding in a hot air balloon requires you to be very high. The record height for a hot air balloon is 50000 feet. That is high enough for a person to get a serious bruise if they fell. You know, one of those bruises that kill you. I do not care for heights as a rule and deadly heights are very unpleasant.

-The thing that propels you that high into the air is fire. Fire directly over your head. While I am no expert in human heads or fire, I feel that the two do not go together well.

-The only that keeps you from plummeting to your death is a wicker basket. As a kid, I broke a wicker basket by standing on it. I am sure it is not the same type of wicker basket, but I am not willing to take that chance.

Further more, wicker is flammable and, as we have established, there is a large amount of fire over your head. This means that you could potentially catch your head on fire, burn through your wicker basket, and fall to your death.

-It is definitely the worst way to travel the planet. I mean, those things are slow. If I flew around the planet in a plane, it would take two or three days.

Hot air balloons: The best way to catch on fire and fall to your death while traveling at a very slow speed.