You are at an airport trying to fly into another country. It is a very stressful time for everyone involved. You are in a rush to get through security, pulling giant suitcases, trying to pull $135 out of your pocket so you can get your preflight non-fat double-whip grande white-mocha swirl Frappuchino with four shots of espresso and a pump of vanilla.
That is when you remember that you also have a kid. Not only do you have a kid, but you did not secure a visa for your child to enter another country. You think, maybe the kid did it himself.
“Did you get yourself a visa?” you ask the kid. Since he is only five-months-old, he does not have much to say. He has never been very helpful and once again did not even attempt to take care of himself.
Since you need to go to this particular foreign country, though, you start weighing your options. Option one: you can wait until the visa office opens back up in two days. You can fill out a bunch of paperwork and then get your kid on the plane, fly safely to this foreign country and take care of your business. This is the sensible option. You might even get a free pen from the visa office. Everything would work out perfectly.
Of course, the downside to this is you have to wait two days in the airport. There is not a lot to do in an airport. You can look at one of 10,000 gift shops, but eventually you will grow bored of staring at bags of almonds and shot glasses emblazoned with various locales. Then all that is left is to fight with your spouse until the two of you hate each other and vow to either divorce or murder the other when you get out of the airport.
To avoid all this, an Egyptian couple opted for option two. It did not go well.
Frustrated by this exact situation, a couple attempting to fly from Egypt into the United Arab Emirates decided they had to get on that plane. I am sure they thought through all of their options. They could put their baby in a dog pen and try to get them to let it fly as luggage. They could dress their baby up as a short airport security official and hope that no one else noticed that this particular security official could not walk and had no control over his bowels.
They opted to do what any good parent would do: hide their kid in their carry-on.
They tucked tiny Bertram Frederick (Breaking news: I have decided to call the baby Bertram Frederick) into a small bag and they made their way to their gate. Of course, they had forgotten the tiny issue of the x-ray machine.
As it turns out, x-ray machines in airports are very good. So good, in fact, that they can detect a baby inside of a bag. Now the parents are stuck in UAE being questioned for the attempting smuggling of their son.
It turns out the smart choice is to never put your child in a bag, especially if someone is going to examine that bag closely. Lesson learned.
It could have been worse, I guess. They could have tried to sneak an adult on the plane in a carry-on bag. It would have been very heavy and there is no way the x-ray machine would not reveal a full-sized human.
Worse, that person probably would have spilled their non-fat double-whip grande white-mocha swirl Frappuchino. That’s $135 down the drain.