Things to Think About…

Cast Away

Cast Away (Photo credit: .noir photographer)

-A person gave me a chocolate chip granola bar and told me it was a healthy snack. Apparently the guidelines for healthy have been loosened to include candy. I’m still holding my breath for a gummy worm hummus, though.

-Martin Luther King Jr. would be a whole lot less respected if the dream he gave a speech about had been the one where he shows up at a rally naked.

-My wife told me that my toenails kept scratching her. I told her to write it down and put it in my “Comments or Complaints” box and then pointed at the trash can. She just kicked me in shin.

-I feel bad for the beef that ends up in hamburgers. It’s not good enough for people to like it, so they just grind it up. If that rule applied to humans, there would be a lot fewer people in the world. Also, I would be a vegetarian.

-Cats are so entitled. They think that we’re just there to feed them and clean up their poopy litter box. We have a lot better things to do, though. For one, complaining about our cats.

-If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he’ll get bored, sell his fishing pole that you gave him on Craigslist, and pick up a burrito off of the Taco Bell dollar menu.

-If you were related to Santa, I bet you would feel neglected. I mean, sure he gives you gifts, but he doesn’t even go down the chimney for you. He just walks up to you and says “Here’s a present.” If I was related to him, I would never leave him cookies because his effort does not warrant them.

-I signed up for a Google Alert about myself. It pulled up the Wikipedia page for narcissism.

-Punctuation can be very important. It is a great way to show someone exactly how you feel about them. “Watch out! There’s a snow leopard behind you!” “Watch out? There’s a snow leopard behind you.”

-In the movie “Castaway,” Tom Hanks befriends a volleyball. If I were to befriend any sporting equipment in that situation, it probably would have been a kayak.

3 thoughts on “Things to Think About…

  1. Great post, very funny -as always. It made me laugh how the only related article is about tacos but then again, this is Nathan Badley we’re talking about. 😉

    Have a great day and keep up the awesome posts.


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