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With my birthday now only 15 days away, I realized today that it is near. Very, very near. That, of course, means that there are only two weeks left to find me the perfect birthday present.
Always the giver, though, I have provided a list of wanted gifts. Feel free to peruse and purchase whatever tickles your fancy. Then, of course, give it to me since it is my gift.
-First edition of Everyone Poops signed by author Amanda Mayer Stinchecum
-A monkey
-A tranquilizer gun (to be used to quell attacks by my new monkey)
-24 karat gold carrot
-24 carrot gold karat
-Yosemite Sam mud flaps
-One of those little beanies with the propeller on top. Those things kill me.
-A granola bar, but not one with raisins because I always think they’re chocolate chips, then take a bite and get a huge let down
-The original KITT from Knight Rider
-Katherine Heigl’s retirement
-A book deal
-A book
-A day of Morgan Freeman narrating my life
-My own personal hamster wheel
-A king-sized Venus flytrap (I have huge flies)
-The answer to life’s greatest mysteries, read aloud by Morgan Freeman
-A bust of myself suitable for display
-A hovercraft
-A bedtime story read by Morgan Freeman
-A vanity plate reading “2HOT4EWE.” Also, a sheep-shaped car to go with this.
-My own guest spot on Community, Happy Endings, 30 Rock, or really any other TV show except for COPS.
-Apple Inc.
If you can’t get me any of these things, I’ll take a gift card. Those things always come in handy.
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The Life and Times of Nathan Badley... 
……..this is me running out to spray paint a carrot……………………………
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I appreciate that more than you will ever know.
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…..mm………….mm……
@(o.o)@
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There’s a monkey that won’t throw poop at you. So much better than a real one. Trust me.
Also, if I counted correctly, your birthday is the day after mine. 🙂
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BIRTHDAY BUDDY!
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I have a hovercraft for you. I don’t have enough money to get it to you.
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What kind of fuel would a hovercraft take? It might be cheap to just hover it to me.
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It runs on bio fuel made of cat poo and water… I just need to collect more poo.
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Gross…
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Hmm, I saw some interesting ideas here: http://www.thinkgeek.com/
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I’ll be honest. That DIY guitar pick punch made me incredibly excited.
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I knew there would be something suitable for you in their catalogue. 😀
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That may be one of the most fantastic sites I’ve ever seen.
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😀 Glad to know! hahahaha
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A day of Morgan Freeman narrating my life! loooooool!
He has got that kinda voice though!
Awesome!
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It would be fantastic, although hearing him talk about most of my morning routine would be a bit weird.
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How about a tin of carrots wrapped in gold paper! Very amusing, you made me chuckle – Thank you! 🙂
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That would work for me.
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Will you settle for just 24 carrots instead? And bugs bunny to go with it?
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I don’t even need the bugs bunny. Just the 24 carrots would do nicely.
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