I hate summer.
I hate summer more than you can imagine. If I were a superhero, my arch nemesis would be Dr. Summer. I would spend all of my time trying to stop Dr. Summer from destroying Megaopolis, my superhero location, with his heat ray and humidity blaster.
I remember when I was young, I loved summer. Summer meant no more school which equaled freedom. Yes, around mid-July, the freedom did start to get boring, but I was free nonetheless. It didn’t matter if the humidity was 625% or the heat index was clocking in at 212 degrees.
As I grew older, though, this love of summer drifted away. Maybe it was my childlike wonder dying. Maybe I had grown disillusioned with the world. Maybe I was no longer allowed to summers off as an adult, making me increasingly bitter.
Whatever the reason, the views of summer are drastically different between childhood and adulthood. The differences in the view of summer can be expressed with these two formulas:
Childhood: Summer=Freedom
Adulthood: Summer=Seriously? Does the thermometer really say that? Looks like the lawn isn’t getting mowed this month…
Now, all of this is not to be blamed on Mother Nature. She’s a good ol’ dame, providing us with a great deal of pleasant weather. Remember spring? Now that is a season. No, I give equal blame to the weather and to Kansas City.
Ah, yes. My hometown. There is a lot to love about Kansas City. There’s barbecue, there’s culture (Seriously, there actually is. Our art museum has an exhibit of Monet’s water lily paintings right now, and if that isn’t culture, then I don’t know what is.), there’s an interesting history involving Jesse James and Charlie Parker and Walt Disney.
One thing you can’t love, though, is the weather.
You know how people try to justify the heat in Arizona by repeatedly saying, “It’s a dry heat,” completely ignoring the fact that their dry heat is clocking in at 115 degrees? Kansas City doesn’t even have that luxury. It isn’t uncommon to watch the news and see a weather report saying, “The high tomorrow be a hot 100 degrees with a heat index of 112.”
See, Kansas City is home to the heat index, a mythical calculation of humidity and temperature that tells you what it feels like outside. This calculation was invented because meteorologists felt stupid getting on TV and saying, “Tomorrow will be 100, but it’ll feel super-hot instead of just really-hot.” It is used to try to adequately express how much you don’t want to go outside because you will instantly feel sweat pouring down your face.
In fact, a better measurement of temperature would be the sweat index. This would be calculated by the number of seconds it is until you feel disgusting and are in need of a shower. When the weatherman said, “The sweat index tomorrow will be 1.3 seconds, so definitely bring a change of clothes and an extra Speed Stick!” you would know exactly what was being talked about and how that relates to your real life.
Fortunately, the air conditioner was invented. Without it, Kansas City would become a ghost town. No one would move, everyone would sit on their couch, fan blowing at them, thinking about how nice Minnesota must be this time of the year.
You’re still prone to think this occasionally even with the AC. Air conditioners can only do so much and until I find a portable air conditioner suit (You’d think if they can send a man to the moon…) then I will still spend a good amount of my time worried that my insides are beginning to boil.
I’m thinking about moving to a zoo’s penguin habitat during the summers. There’s fish to eat and that’s brain food. It’s cooler and you don’t feel overdressed with your tuxedo on. I will have no reason to step outside during the summer months. There, I will wait out Dr. Summer until Fallman finally arrives.
He is significantly more pleasant.
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You should move to BC, apparently we don’t have summer here anymore 😦
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I with the princess, please send some disgusting heat and humidity to the West Coast. Much appreciated.
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And to Edmonton as well……now and a bit in the winter 🙂
Sweat Index……that’s what I am going to call it now
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What?!?!? Winter far exceeds summer’s benefits (comfort wise). In cold weather, you can pile clothes on until you are warm. In the heat, you can only strip down so far in public.
The cold water from my faucet is luke warm. I can’t even cool down that way. And I’m not joking. My lawn is also suffering.
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Is there a winter in Texas? How much snow do you get 😉 jk I hear you though. Its got to be hot all the way down there. Here its not. I am wearing a sweater right now.
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Really? You grew tired of your freedom before August? When I was a kid, I used to pace myself to ensure that I still had targets to torch or vandalize within “wheelie bike” range well past Labour Day.
Here in Niagara, the forecast for tomorrow is 93° with a “real feel” humidex of 113°. I just hate it when it gets so humid that you stop sweating because the moisture in the air exceeds the humidity level inside your body, so you just keep bloating up until you find air conditioning.
In Montreal the winter weather reports sometimes have something similar to your proposed sweat index as a function of time except they announce things like “exposed skin will freeze in 2 minutes, so bundle up!”. Needless to say, Montreal has very few “flashing” reports during the winter… I guess the exhibitionists all head to Florida in the winter. Brings new meaning to the phrase “snow bird”, doesn’t it?
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Here in Toronto it is 37 degrees Celsius with a humidex of 42. It is sickeningly hot. It’s ok to have heat like that when you’re a kid and can spend the day in the pool, but as an adult on your way to work, it sucks.
I’m with you. I’d rather have winter than summer. When you’re cold, you can always get warm by putting on more clothing; when you’re too hot, you can only take off so many layers…lol.
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Exactly my point. Its a lot easier to put on a sweater then to cool off.
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I have to agree, but we are just sooooo depressed here in the west. At the end of June I spent 5 long days setting up my pool… it was riddled with problems this year… it obviously knew something I didn’t. I have been in it exactly 3 times in July. Yesterday I had to wear socks to bed, today we are in hoodies and sweats and we are having a wind storm. Even the mosquitos have gone into hiding.
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i am agread ,in norway we have it cold,so we travel in summer too spain,a country where is hot. god day too you
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i am agreed ,in Norway we have it cold,so we travel in summer too spain,a country where is hot. god day too you
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“Childhood: Summer=Freedom
Adulthood: Summer=Seriously?”
BRILLIANT! And so, so, so true…
If you find a zoo penguin habitat big enough for many, you could make a mint renting out the other half. It’d be a like a zoo duplex…a zooplex! 😉
Best of luck surviving the heat.
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I’ll let you know if I find one. You’re first on my tenant list.
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come to england its been raining for the past two months, we cant remember what summer was like!
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Seesm like England is gonna get more rain courtesy the US! A sweat indew is PERFECT!!!! It would be SO MUCH more useful!!!! Indiana is much like Kansas, land locked and humid, being wetlands long ago. Matter of fact I have been in Florida all week and it is cooler here than it is at home! Great post!!! VEry funny and as always with funny, True!
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Read a copy of Dante’s Inferno. That’s what it is like.
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I remember the summers a child. So loved and memorable. Why must we lose that in adulthood. I couldn’t agree more with the view of the heat index at our ages. Although I have come back to school, I still wish it could be cooler. I like cold because we can put more on than we can take off. I had thought of moving to Alaska, it was beautiful when I took a cruise there, With this heat here, I am thinking it is a better idea each day.
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I think we all are.
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The heat isn’t any better in the deep South my friend! The humidity fills the air so tightly that you can’t hardly catch your breath. While I reject any Southern stereotypes that are thrown at me, I become very Southern in the summer. I saunter around with a glass of ice tea in my hand and a fan in another and complain to everyone in earshot about the weather. Most people will agree and ask if I want to change that ice tea for a mint julep. Funny post, I join you in your commiseration.
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You guys really drink Mint Juleps, huh? I did not know that. I always assumed that was one of those drinks that people never really drank.
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You should move to Scotland..its official we havent had a summer for about 5 years…..just now we have 2 climates damp and damper..let me know when you get here Ill meet you at the airport with a brollie and some wellies…ELiza Keating
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I don’t know what brollie or wellies are, but I’ll take them.
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I am not surprised you are willing- nay eager- to take brollie and wellies. Not surprised at ALL.
Fellow sufferer, cheers..!
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Let’s see. Brollie could be umbrella and wellies would then be Wellington boots (rubber boots)
Even a viking knows that. We’re also missing summer.
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Come to Germany. Not only do we count degrees in Celsius (which sounds less terrific). Also, absolute temperature really is not so considerable. This year, summer seems to take a sabbatical.
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I’m sold. Book me a ticket!
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Ha, I live in Minnesota. Summer isn’t very great right now, either.
You said you liked Spring. Well, Spring in Minnesota is shorts and sweatshirt season. Yup, you heard me right, shorts and sweatshirts. When it gets above freezing we feel obliged to wear shorts, but we still need some layering of clothing.
Come here in the winter, then you’ll have something to complain about. Heat stroke would at least be quick. But here, we have hypothermia.
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I’ve been to Minneapolis in the winter before. It was the only time I’ve ever had to hike over three foot high piles of snow to cross the street.
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I too hate summer. I hate heat–plain and simple! We lived in Vietnam for a year with outrageous heat and air conditioning only in our bedroom! We had the same situation in Haiti! Yikes!
Congrats on Freshly Pressed! That should heat things up around the blog! Promise!
Kathy
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That sounds like enough to make anyone hate summer.
Thanks for the congratulations. I appreciate it.
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Congrats on another round of freshly pressed my man. Hilarious post!
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Thank you very much, sir.
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I loved summer until about 3 days ago. Yesterday, it hit 100 here in norhtern IL for the first time in many decades. The humidity isn’t letting up either. Guess the whole U.S. is bad this year. Makes me very thankful for AC and shade trees.
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Those are the only things saving me.
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KC is my hometown. Can’t say I miss summers there but the spring and fall seasons are great!
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They really are. I will not be complaining about them anytime soon.
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Well, in the Washington, DC area we have cold winters, hot summers, crisp falls, and nice springs. All in the same week sometimes! Right now it is really hot but before you know it we will be complaining about how cold it is. It is one of the reasons I love this area.
Congrats on the FP!
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I think DC is about the same as Kansas City. I, however, do not love it.
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Congratulations! You have now been Freshly Pressed more times than Anita Bryant’s oranges.. You deserve it!
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Thanks.
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Great post.
Yeah, I don’t go for that heat index babble either. Try this experiment. Put your oven on 115 F and stick your head in there. Tell me if it’s any different if you put in a bowl of water. When I lived in southern Arizona (a place where you have to carry gloves in your car IN THE SUMMER) I grew weary of people from Minnesota assuring me that their heat was just as bad because it was wet.
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Minnesota, it really isn’t. Kansas City versus Arizona, though, I would have to choose Arizona. I’ve been there and the heat is a bit more bearable.
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I’d like a little block of ice in that penguin habitat too – Friday’s forecast here in Baltimore is a lovely 102 that “will feel like 110-115.” If I had wanted to live in a swamp, I would have been Shrek.
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I think even Shrek would hate this.
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I have nothing intelligible to say because I am still laughing. What a hysterical post!! Ok, ok, As we endure the latest heat wave here in the NE and I find more and more sly ways to spend under the AC, lemonade in hand, I think the Penguin habitat at the zoo would definitely be worthwhile. I thank you for the idea but fear that I am too big to hide out amongst the Penguins 🙂 Sigh…
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I’m sure you can come to the penguin habitat as well. There’s enough fish for everybody!
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This is so funny…and heat index? Really? Up here in Canada we have what’s called ‘windchill’. So instead, the weatherman says: “We’ve got a high of -25 today and a low of -35, but with the windchill, feels like -54”. And remember, we’re talking degrees celsius.
When I was a kid they actually used to have a feature in the weather section of the newspaper that told you how long (in merely minutes) it took your skin to freeze outside at today’s temperature.
No wonder people down south think we actually live in igloos! We’re always praying for the weather you have down there 🙂
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Kansas City is lucky enough to have heat index and windchill. It never gets that cold, but we’ll hit -10 occasionally.
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As a fellow Kansas Citian who is currently living in the south, I understand you completely. I could have written this exact thing.. if you hadn’t written it first.
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You can write it too. It might be better than mine. I’ll read it either way.
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It’s been a hot week, for sure. Thank goodness for rivers and swimming pools. Stay cool!
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You too.
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I’m sweltering in my city but I refuse to complain because I absolutely despise winter and the cold, so I’m standing outside screamin’ “Bring it on, sistah!”
Waaahooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
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You are hardcore. More power to you.
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hilarious. my life has basically been a tour of the most humid regions in america, but i haven’t made it yet to kansas city. i’ll put it on my list.
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Don’t. Come in the fall. It’s much better.
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As an Irish woman who melts in any type of heat, humidity or high heat index, I would gladly buy a portable air conditioner suit when travelling! Do you think NASA could focus on that next instead? 🙂
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Why not? They aren’t going to be sending shuttles up anymore. They need something to do.
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i lives in indonesia, and it’s summer for the ENTIRE YEAR here -__- this place is a living hell (literally)
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I would not want to live in Indonesia and the weather is the biggest reason.
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I agree with the dislike of heat during the summer. Though I never outgrew my childhood freedom, I always preferred the cold weather. Always. The sweat index seems more accurate.I live in the tropics, but not by choice. And the seat index would be broken down by the number of milliseconds before your brain registers a drop.
So summer is not associated with heat. But with the reason to travel to colder pastures.
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I always liked the cold weather, too. I liked having summers off though. I liked it a lot.
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It is definately hot in KC right now!
Whoa!
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Yes it is.
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I just noticed you were freshly pressed!!! whohooo, congrats 🙂
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Thank you.
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Global warming makes summer hotter and hotter every year. And AC is a big part that makes global warming, ’cause it takes lots of energy. Eat less meat, then your inside will be cooler, so you can cope with summer heat better!! 😀
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That is a solution, although they’ll have to make tofu taste a lot better first.
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I’m sorry you hate summer 😦 I enjoy it so much. It seems like it gets hotter each year now, though.
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It really does. It would be okay if it got a bit cooler for a while. I wouldn’t complain.
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I live in Australia, nuf said!
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In australia the summer in sydney get to just under a million c and let me tell you I’m inside with the AC on superchill. There is nothing elegant about sweating your tits off!
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No there isn’t.
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t.o.o. h.o.t. in colorado too.
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It’s too hot everywhere.
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I hate summer with a passion. I’m in New York City and the humidity is ruining a beautiful sunny day. Give me winter and spring anytime! I hope you find a way to enjoy your summer.
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I have. It’s called air conditioning. It is a glorious invention.
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Sorry to see Summer has you so hot under the collar! – Chill out!
Congrats on being Freshly Heated, I Mean Freshly Pressed.
Have a great day!
Mr. Bricks
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Excellent use of wording. Thank you very much.
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Since you already have many suggestions of where to move, I will just let you in on a little secret…they have these things called cooling vests. They are made for people like me with heat sensitive multiple sclerosis issues. If you don’t ming wearing icepacks in a 20lb vest that looks like it came from the 80s, you can be cool year round. … You’re welcome. 🙂
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WHAT?!?!?!?! HOW AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS?!
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Pingback: Thanks For Visiting, Summer. Could You Leave Me Alone Now? (via The Life and Times of Nathan Badley…) « It's impossible to be unhappy on a skateboard.
Moving to southern California from Philadelphia freed me up from two of the most hideous things on Earth: August, and February.
Sorry, three things: August, February, and mosquitos. I discovered that I actually adore searingly hot weather, as long as it’s dry. Dry heat cools down at night, and all you have to do to get some relief is hop into the shade. Of anything. A phone pole.
Humidity is revolting. Air should just not hold water, that’s wrong.
I often think that’s why Philadelphians love fall so much. Not only is it a beautiful season, but August is as far away as it’s ever going to get.
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California is sounding better and better.
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hahahah… I’m so with you. Even with living right next to a cool lake this is way too stinking hot!
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You should live in the lake. It is probably much cooler.
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I would be with you, but I get my vacations in the summer. It’s great being a teacher. I’ll fucking deal.
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Lucky.
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I hate summer too…and it’s perpetual humid summer in Singapore. Loved your post though! 🙂
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I’m glad you like my post more than summer. Hear that summer? I win this one…
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Finally someone else who hates summer as much as I do. People usually look at me like I have two heads and then start backing away slowly when I say that I hate the heat. Oddly enough, I willingly moved to some hot places in the world, but I long for Scandanavia or Newfoundland! Unfortunately, my winter-hating boyfriend won’t go to these places, so we compromise with the Northeast. Hot, humid summers, but they’re short and we still get enough snow in Jan and Feb to make me happy.
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! And good luck riding out the summer.
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Newfoundland, huh? I wonder how much plane tickets would cost…
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Very well written and well said. I sympathize with you. I have lived in Dallas, TX, for more than 40 years. It has been 100 degrees or higher everyday this summer since early June. I think there was one or two days when it only hit 99 degrees, but otherwise it’s been between 101 to 108 every day with no rain. The rain will not really return to the area until mid-September.
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Sounds like a good place to own an air conditioner business.
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Psst, Minnesota has been horrible this last week as well, one day’s high of 100 with heat index of 113. 113! 13 bad number, nothing good could come of that. AC decided to wave bye bye days beforehand.
Kate
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Nothing is worse than a broken air conditioner. I have sympathy for you, my friend.
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wow 100s. i thought that happens to tropical countries only =)
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No. It also happens in Kansas City. And probably in Hell, too.
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I had a summer job in Houston, Texas chipping tar off the roofs in a petroleum tank farm. You climb up and then down onto these floating roofs and you work all day baking inside this gigantic round metal container. You had to wear boots, long pants, gloves, a helmet and just chip, chip, chip all day. It is nice to be able to move in and out of office buildings enjoying the changes in temperature. KC could not have the humidity of Houston. Houston is below sea level and one of the largest port cities in the world. Houston is also one of the best markets for leather clothing; vests, skirts, jackets, boots, all things leather. Why? because most of the worker bees in the big tall buildings leave their air conditioned houses in air conditioned cars arriving in air conditioned parking garages attached to giant underground air conditioned tunnels leading to air conditioned offices. You can spend an entire summer in Houston, Texas without spending more than a cursory moment in the mid day sun. Too bad for the other workers chipping away at the tar on the roofs of all of that petroleum needed to run air conditioners.
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I poured concrete one summer, so I can relate to what your saying. Wearing boots in the summer heat is far from ideal.
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I feel you, Texas is notorious for hot. It has been the hottest in a long long time here in Dallas. Go away summer. GO AWAY!
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Yes, Summer. Listen to her!
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YEah I totally know ur feeling right now, actually everyone in America does! you have to ask when the heck this heat wave will me over???? US midwest got spoiled by nice, cool summer, only few random hot days for so many years that this heat is killing us already. My school blasted air-con everywhere, thus making it worse to go outside and feel the difference, sigh…. I suggest you move to Australia, it should be pretty cool in there right now, hahaha
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Maybe this heat will unite Americans together. Only through adversity…
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I do prefer colder weather as well. I have insomnia in the summer … been that way for decades.
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Colder weather is infinitely better.
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Oh you people who hate summer move to the Northwest where one summer day can be a treasure.
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Deal.
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this is by far the most entertaining blog post ive read about summer all summer! ive been working full-time for less than a month and am already suffering from the adulthood:summer-SERIOUSLY?! syndrome. although living in california with its balmy mediterranean climate means im not losing my vision due to sweat rolling off my eyelids
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Thanks for reading.
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Hello from sweltering Little Rock, where we also have good culture (seriously), great BBQ and awful humidity. October, that’s not a typo, can’t come soon enough! Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed.
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The only issue I have with this statement is saying you have great BBQ. I am from Kansas City, so it is my civic duty to say our BBQ is the best.
It’s the best.
There. Duty completed.
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Agreed that there is no more freedom in summer in adulthood… you got to choose between having enough sleep, or having no life outside of work. haha I actually just posted my blog about that…Yea, I’m in San Francisco right now and the weather isn’t that great. It’s mid-July and it was sprinkling last week. There is still snow in Lake Tahoe and my nephews went snowboarding on 4th of July… Come over to the west coast! Good luck!
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I want to come there now.
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As a child I also enjoyed most of what summer had to offer. i never did like the heat and humility. Now I hate this kind of weather and my favorite season is Fall.
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I love fall as well. It’s crisp, cool, refreshing. Plus there’s Halloween candy.
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Wow, I hate the summer too! Usually, when I admit this folks look absolutely aghast, so its nice not to know I’m not alone in my sweaty misery….congrats on the FP thing as well 🙂
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You are most definitely not alone. All rational people agree with you.
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the heat index here is currently 110. not my favorite.
http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com
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Gross. Try not to sweat too much.
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Georgia is getting ridiculous, as well. I’m so sick of the heat. I’m sick of the fact that I can’t take a walk without feeling like I just dived into a volcano and I’m sick of the fact that my mother thinks heat is an excuse to make the house feel like an igloo so that every morning when I wake up, my toes are numb. Indecision!
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I honestly don’t know how to respond to that. I guess your screwed either way.
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LOL i still love summer because it’s outdoorsy type weather. but summer isnt that exciting as it once was in highschool,
-Bianca at http://theinbetweengirls.wordpress.com/
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It definitely isn’t as fun.
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Pingback: Sweat and Sotheby’s « Runs With Markers
It’s just nice to hear someone else rant about summer. I live in Texas and there’s too many people hear who say they like the heat. And I’m like, winter anyone? Anyone? And they’re like, I don’t like being cold. And I say, guess you’re living in the right state and I’m not.
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Texans must be crazy.
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Toronto is ROASTING, it’s so hot out right now. I definitely feel your pain!
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We are truly kindred spirits then.
Thanks for reading.
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Great to find someone in common… I hate summer too!
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There seems to be a lot of that going around right now.
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Wow, you all can come visit Seattle where we’ve had a grand total of 78 minutes of summer this year: http://www.komonews.com/weather/blogs/scott/125742443.html. No joke. At this point, I think many of us would gladly take some humidity and 100+ temps!
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You may have it.
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I walked a whole block this morning — 10:45 a.m. in suburban NY — and was drenched and dripping (soooooooo attractive and comfortable) as a result. I look like hell from June to September because of the heat/sweat/messy hair thing. Make-up? Melts off. Light-colored clothes — HUGE sweat marks. UGH.
I grew up in frigid Toronto and Montreal. I much prefer cold.
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I have a friend that swears that Toronto is the best place he has ever been. I’ll have to check it out sometime.
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I live in Chicago and one of my coworkers just uttered one of the grosser sentences I’ve heard in a while: “It’s the type of heat that just opens up your pores and makes them immediately moist.”
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Ew. Ask them not to say that every again.
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I live in Kenya. It’s summer here, everyday!!! and I love it. 😀
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I’m glad you’re happy with your weather. It sounds like I would not want to live in Kenya, though.
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A little warm, eh? No humidity in California!
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I would love to live in Cali. Stupid midwest. Sigh…
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Good post, which I wish I could relate to, but unfortunately I live in England, where the best summer we get lasts the duration of about 24 hours!
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You seem to have misused the word “unfortunately.”
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I’ll take the heat! In Edmonton we’ve had a particularly lousy summer of constant thunderstorms punctuated by bright bursts of light that could only be described as sunshine. It’s only hit 28 degrees Celcius this year! And then our mosquitos are so bad you can’t even appreciate any amount of tolerable weather. Trust me, after 8 months of blistering cold winter, any amount of heat is welcome. No matter how hot it gets, our standard statement is “Well, it’s not snowing”. Trade you.
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I’m not sure how warm 28 Celsius is, but I might take you up on that. Let me see if my wife is okay if I trade our climate…
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Heat Index. Dear Lord. I’m from Michigan so I completely understand. It’s the humidity that’s the killer. It says it’s only 80 outside so maybe you should air out your house – bad idea. You’ll feel disgusting and sticky, your shower won’t dry because the air around you is too saturated, and you start sweating for no good reason. This week has been the worst for us – highs of 95-98 then the humidity at 70% on up. All you can think is that you just want it to rain, and what it “Feels” like is totally different from what it would be without humidity. It’s terrible.
Great post! You made me laugh! =]
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I’m so glad I could make you laugh.
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I think we should be able to hit the delete button on Summer. I used to LOVE that season too — you nailed it! As an adult it’s just a hot sticky season that leaves nobody feeling attractive. I mean, humidity and hair . . . not a good combination! Hang in there, fall is just around the corner. Love your blog!
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Thank you. Since you love my blog, I, in turn, love you.
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We had a heat index of 127 in Minnesota yesterday, holy crap, it was terrible. I can’t say I agree more with the adulthood=seriously. I used to love summer, but now I’m starting to think Minnesota has NO good seasons. We have perfect weather in the spring for about two weeks.
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Now I’m depressed because I always though Minnesota would be a sort of safe haven from heat.
Minneapolis is pretty cool, though.
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You don’t have to tell me about heat. I live in Vegas.
What up, Mojave Desert?
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I actually laugh-snorted when I read the “What up, Mojave Desert?” That probably makes me a huge nerd.
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Today in Vegas is 110 hot!!! but there is no humidity so it’s all good here.
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The lack of humidity would be very welcome here.
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I hate summer too! it’s hot, humid, and causes SWEAT! I hate it….. You cant even have a nice outdoor dinner cause you’d sweat your ass off… (I live in Puerto Rico)
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I would bet Puerto Rico is worse than Kansas City.
Just have an indoor picnic. It could be very pleasant.
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Oh my god, another human being who hates Summer! YAY!
I have always hated summer, even as a child. I swear that this is true: When taken to the beach, I would take everyone’s towels and use them to cover myself up.
Luckily I am in London now, the yellow orb does not make much of an appearance here…thank goodness.
Congrats for being Freshly Pressed 🙂
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It is a seriously overrated season, that is for sure.
Thank you for the congratulations and I hope you are Freshly Pressed soon.
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Haha, since I’m in Ghana and I really don’t mind the heat, when I read the beginning of this I thought, “pfft, chump, can’t even handle the heat in the U.S., and AFRICA must be soooo much hotter than the States!”
http://www.google.ca/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=cape+coast+weather
Turns out I was wrong!
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I am no chump. I hope that is the lesson you took from this.
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Brilliant! I despise Dr. Summer, too – but I’ve figured out a great way to beat him: I am holed up in my Fortress of non-Summertude. a/k/a Portland, Oregon.
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Darn your fortress of non-summertude.
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Summer for an A leveler= personal statements; I feel your pain.
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Thank you for relating to me.
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As a teacher, I feel prompted to defend summer. You ought to have chosen a career that provides summers off. Then you could love summer for the rest of your life. 🙂 Just like I do.
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If that is the only reason you became a teacher, I feel sorry for your students.
I wouldn’t mind being a teacher but, sadly, I do not have a teaching license. Also, I don’t know how good of a teacher I would be. If there was a class on sarcasm, I could do that….
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oh man.. u have no ideally how sick i am feeling of the heat here in India.. it rains here inthe evening and it brings out the heat index more .. and all the rain water just evaporate. its aweful
Please winter come fast
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Maybe we should start a petition. It couldn’t hurt.
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I feel you man. I lived in Memphis, TN for five years before moving here to Chicago where I’ve lived for 4 years this September and today, due to the continuing crock pot weather, I caved and bought a portable AC about two hours ago.
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You won’t regret the decision.
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Awh, I love summer… but then again, I’m still a kid haha
I thought your article was really funny though!
My blog is all about getting the most out of my summers until I turn into… well, you. So thanks for reiterating my purpose (:
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You’re welcome. Glad I could help.
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I live right by Kansas City, past Topeka in a nice little town called Manhattan.
Today it’s 110 degrees outside. IT FEELS EVEN WORSE, GODDAMNIT.
THIS HEAT ANGERS ME SO MUCH. It’s been 100 degrees outside for a total of three weeks now, can we PLEASE get a break!? REAGJKLAGJEFKAL RAGE
Sorry. Us Kansans need to be angry once in a while.
You know, I got to see a volcano erupt in person.
The heat wasn’t this bad. Sigh.
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I’ve been to Manhattan and I was just curious if REAGJKLAGJEFKAL is a word there now.
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I now hate so summer so bad that I want to move and I have never really wanted to move. If my entire family would move with me I would be gone so fast. My husband says let’s just go, no way. I would go to Alaska at this point. We have had one day in SC that we could go outside and not feel as if we are going to die. I don’t care what anyone says it was not this hot when I was a child.
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It takes a lot to make Alaska sound good. Congratulations to you, Alaskans. We now envy you.
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Oh I came from a Temperate region and all my life sweat was my alter ego….. I also hate summer for this very reason…It’s like the sun is taking away all the juice inside me…. N ya, tomorrow will be the hottest day in Toronto’s history…. Heat alert in action….
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Good luck tomorrow and don’t luck the sun take away your juice. It can be a bully like that.
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Funny post! I actually like summer more than winter (I live in the Boston area), but the extreme heat gets to me too. Tomorrow we actually have a “heat warning.” What exactly are we supposed to do with that? “It’s going to be motherf*cking hot tomorrow, folks, so dunk your head in a bucket of ice before you leave the house and don’t wear black underwear.”
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Warning: It is hot outside. Leave your long underwear in its drawer and don’t even think about wearing that new parka no matter how good it looks.
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Great Laugh here, I am getting ready to move in the dead of Summer it’s 103 degrees in Chicago and not going to let up. UGH….Thanks for the laugh today.
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My friend just moved and said he was afraid he would literally melt outside. You should drink lots of water. I don’t want to hear that you died.
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Visit God’s own country, Kerala and try this meditation technique.
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Uhhhh….
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Um, I am from Arizona…and yea. “It’s a dry heat” doesn’t cut it. It’s still 117 and the government is telling me to stay in my house. That is a problem.
Bright side? Travel to France during the summer and it’s like being in Seattle in the Spring!
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That is a very large bright side. Definitely an upgrade from Arizona or Kansas City.
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Here, here. When it gets so ridiculously hot, it’s time to pack it in and sit next to the A/C for the duration. Likewise, in the winter, when it gets “crazy cold”, it’s time to pack it in, wrap a mega-blanket around you and wait until spring arrives. Although, I think summer is worse. I mean who ever made it a rule that we have to go to work in suits. Lightweight or not, wearing wool in the summer is the height of insanity.
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Shouldn’t they realize that suits don’t look quite as good when they are drenched in sweat?
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They should but since they are nothing more than monkey suits in weather like this, I doubt very much that the primates wearing them fully grasp that fact. Hey, it’s enough that they are lucid enough to grab the deodorant in the morning and slap some on.
Who made the suit wearing rule anyway?
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I’ve been here in AZ my entire life and every day I question why people come and why people stay. I hate it. I don’t know how I managed to spend entire days outside as a kid.
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It’s because, as a kid, you were stupid. Kids clearly don’t understand the definition of heat exhaustion.
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In six months it will be January 20th, 2012. I will tune in to your blog to read your “I love winter in Kansas” post. At least you all have ruby slippers. For now try this. Click your heels together and say “There’s no place like Nome”.
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I am wearing my ruby slippers right now, but contrary to popular belief they are just for fashion. I look terrific right now.
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lol. I can totally relate. I live in the tropics where its 40 degrees centigrade sometimes – Crikey!
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Crikey is right!
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I know what you mean about hating summer. Luckily for me, I live in the north of England and can hear the luscious rain falling outside, and I haven’t sweated for a good few weeks now.
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May I come visit? Just for the summer.
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I hear what your saying. I do live in Phoenix and while 115 is not fun, we don’t have humidity. If you could live anywhere else, where would that be?
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If I could live anywhere else, it would be either Northern California or a climate-controlled dome. Both sound very appealing.
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So glad to have stumbled unto your blog. I laughed through it because believe it or not I live in Phoenix it’s 4:25pm and 108 outside!
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I very much believe that. I’ve visited Phoenix on several occasions and wanted to die from the heat. At least you have In-N-Out Burger, though.
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FP’d again? You dog!
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I know, right?
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UGH I definitely agree. I am a teen, but I absolutely hate summer right now. RIDICULOUS. I used to like summer as a kid, no doubt, now the heat puts me in a bad mood. Move to Canada! Might be much better there. (;
I am utterly amazed at the amount of comments you recieved. Now THAT’S ridiculous. (:
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I know its ridiculous. I am going to respond to every last one of them. It is my new goal in life.
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Obdulia ¿ Y dices que no te aclarabas con el nuevo sistema ? ¡¡ madre mia, ¡¡¡ espera que voy a suicidarme ¡¡
Me alegro de verte de nuevo ¡¡ de verdad-. Te dejo un beso que no cabe en la pagina¡¡¡¡¡
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Me gusta el beisbol y la musica de rock.
That is all the Spanish I remember from high school. I hope that applied to what you were saying, otherwise I would look very stupid right now.
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I understand your hatred of the heat, but I would rather have the heat than winter. I hate all the cold and snow and ice. It gets me stuck at work and unable to get home. I would much rather be hot than stuck at work.
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I may be a weirdo, but I prefer the winter. Maybe I just like wearing coats. I don’t know. Either way, snow is okay in my book.
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You know that air conditioner suit is a great idea. Anything to reduce spontaneous combustion in public!
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I really think spontaneous combustion is something we should focus more of our attention on. It’s unpleasant and messy.
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I hate summer. I live in Perth, Western Australia and this year our winter was almost non existent! Summer’s right around the corner and I for one am dreading it.
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You should. Summers are very hot.
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Amen, my heat-hating brother. I’ve come to realize that much of my hatred stems from the inherent inability to disrobe past a certain level. I can only be so naked in order to combat the heat. The rest of the year? I can layer up or down and always be comfortable. Summer? I can only take off so many layers before I’m no longer allowed in “polite company”.
Thanks for the laughs and please accept my sympathy.
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Sympathy accepted.
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Tell me about it! My A/C went out a week ago and I was thinking the same thing. 😦
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I can relate. Last year, my A/C went out. I have never loved fans so much.
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We have the stupid heat index up here in Canada (Southwestern Ontairio) too. I HATE humidity. It’s ridiculous and makes it feel like a sauna outside. I miss winter right now.
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It really is.
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It sounds like K.C. and D.C. have the same weather.
I think the Sweat Index is an excellent idea. For instance, it is 10.35 pm and Washington’s Sweat Index is .5 seconds. Although, some people are more heat tolerant, so average it out and say .7 seconds.
We should all work to make the SI official. But not until October, it’s too hot now.
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Over the winter, we’ll get that taken care of. Now, we’ll sit inside and avoid moving.
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Funnee! I hate summers too, but not as humorously as you do. I tend to swear at summer, as in “the fucking heat today is boiling my brains”. Good idea about the sweat index.
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Don’t sweat at the heat. It only encourages it.
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For the past few years on the East Coast it have gone straight from Winter to Summer. I will make you a deal, if you let us borrow some of your Spring – beautiful, glorious, happy season that it is – you can borrow some of our beaches… they help moderate the tempurature and can keep you cool in the event of terrible heat and humidity.
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Hmmm…. how much moderation do the beaches provide? I might do it as long as I don’t have to share any of my fall.
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Pingback: Thanks For Visiting, Summer. Could You Leave Me Alone Now? (via The Life and Times of Nathan Badley…) « Live&Learn
I used to hate summer because I lived in Chicago for years. I moved to the mountains of Colorado and right now while it is 98 degrees in Chicago it is 73 degrees in the mountains. Sorry for gloating. Great post.
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I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I kind of hate you now.
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While I agree summer might get somewhat hell-like in the southern states and all, here in Canada we’ll take every bit of summer we can. We get snow in October/early November and it doesn’t leave until April. Hell, we’ve had blizzards in May before. This year, we have had, at most, maybe four weeks of “proper” summer weather so far. Why don’t we trade places, eh? 6 months of winter and you will welcome summer with open arms.
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I think I would take that chance.
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Haha.Heat index is an interesting creation :).Of course, they could just specify the temperature and the percentage humidity, and that gives you all the info you need.That wouldn’t be half as cool, though.
What you say, of course, is true.But as they say you relish the advent of winter so much only ‘coz you just went through summer.
By the way, I’m in India:).Yes, the famed ‘Indian Summer’.So, summers or winters??Definitely winters for me.
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Try to stay cool, although I don’t know that you can in India.
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i hate summer too. you wrote the great article.
but you can go to travel in summer, i always go out when in the hot days.
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I can’t travel based on the fact that I lack money to travel. If you would like to fund my traveling, though, you are more than welcome to.
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Aww… summer was good for me 🙂
Just needed some ice creams…air conds…all the cool stuffs.
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You need a lot of them this summer.
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Living in a tropical country (Philippines), I can feel just a bit of your sentiments. A bit because summer in our country is actually the best season. Opportunities for alfresco adventures go with it. The temperature maybe irritating at times nontheless it’s tolerable unlike the way you describe summer in your country through this blog post.
H’m. Heat index, heat ray, humidity blaster, moving to a zoo … I find those words captivating. I never read something like your post where humor and seriousness go together perfectly.
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Well, thank you very much.
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Ha. My friends in other places try to tell me that it’s worse where they are because of the humidity, and I respect that the air gets soupier when it’s humid…but if it’s a dry 115, thats still fucking hot. I live in Arizona and a week ago I actually got a blistering burn on my arm from my seat belt buckle in my car. I mean thats just wrong.
I’m with you 100%, I hate summer too. I liked when I lived elsewhere and it was a pleasant break from the snow and it was full of flowers and other charming things, but in Arizona its full of sunburns, self-basting through sweat and other fun things. 😛
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I do have to say the humidity adds an extra element to it. Arizona is hot as crap, but the humidity in Kansas City just creates a suffocating feeling.
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No super powers needed, just a plane ticket to the Pacific Northwest. We have hit 80 degrees for exactly two days and it has rained for the past week. Can’t say I would want to be where you are, though. Sounds like you need a true summer vacation ;).
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I really do.
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I feel the same way about winter that you feel about summer! Perhaps we should switch locations: I will take your horrible heat (and love every minute of it) and you can have my ridiculously cold winters. Summer never lasts long enough in this part of the country. Hope you get some relief from the heat soon. Great post.
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The switch is on!
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My husband and I just discovered we had air-conditioning in our apartment we’ve been occupying for eight months. That’s embarrassing to admit for a multitude of reasons, though primarily because we’re adults who supposedly can read, drive cars, and turn on the television.
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Ha! I can see how that would be a bit embarrassing. It would be worse to have called a repairman, only to have him walk in, flip the A/C on, then walk right back out.
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Enjoying the read. I like how you add humour to your already great posts. Since I’m now Brisbane, Australia-based I’ve finally appreciated blogging myself not only as a previous academic requirement at an Australian university but now as a lifestyle for the city’s international student.
Feel FREE to drop by at my blog http://blogitxavier.wordpress.com & would really appreciate a comment or two, mate.
Hope Summer will finally be leaving you soon.
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I will drop by. Consider it done.
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I hate summer before, but I think it’s lots better than monsoon. Here, together the monsoon is flood. You may can’t imagine for everyday raining almost 5 months long… 🙂 Can I adapt your formulas?
Childhood: Raining = Fun
Adulthood: Raining = Boring
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That is a terrific adaptation. I will allow it.
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here in India it is not that hot but too humid. You start sweating the moment you spend five minutes outdoors.
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Humidity is the worst.
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It’s 103 degrees here
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Hot. Too hot.
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Great and funny post! I grew up and have lived in the southeast all my life and I despise our hot and humid summers. I, for one, believe in all this talk of global warming as I just don’t remember our summers being this hot and miserable. I’m afraid Minnesotans are having it bad this week as well with temperatures in the upper 90’s to 100 and heat indexes off 113! I hate walking to the mailbox and returning soaking wet. No, not my idea of fun at all! And it’s hard to breathe outside when it’s this hot…. or is it just me?
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No, it is not just you.
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I used to live in Singapore (pretty hot), but now that I’ve moved and gotten used to colder weather, summer’s pretty unbearable without air-con. Unless the sea is within 10 meters away.
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The sea is not a luxury that Kansas has, unfortunately. We do have a couple rivers, but I don’t think that is even remotely helpful.
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One good thing about it, is that you can sweat off that extra lard from last night’s buffet. It’s not something you can do on cold weathers.
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Now there’s the silver lining! Excellent job.
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Awesome!!!
I love summer, and I just got my summer looks going with hair feathers like the ones here http://www.FeatherAccents.com
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Good luck with your hair, I guess.
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wow, I like Summer more than Winter, because it is too cold in Winter to do anything.
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I respectfully disagree. You can wear more layers to do things in the winter. In the summer, there are only so many layers you can remove before your peeling off your skin.
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sorry to hear about this… it must be tough dealing with it… anyways i wish you well…
congrats though for making it to freshly pressed…
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Thank you ever so much.
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Aww that’s a shame!You definitely justify your point of view in this post which is good!For my view on summer click here http://italklots.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/summer/
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!For my view on summer click here http://italklots.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/summer/
Well written post,I like it!
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Done.
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Great Post!!! I especially found living in the zoo with penguins to be quite amusing, but well founded. I’m an autumn girl myself. Love any weather where I can feel comfortable wearing my favorite hoody, and the colors of nature during that time of the year are incredible! I enjoy reading more of your blog and congrats on being freshly pressed!
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Thank you. Hoody weather is definitely the best.
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ㅋㅋ~
외국말이라서 뭐라는지 모르겠네..ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
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Okay.
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Great post! 🙂
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Great comment!
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Haha Summer!
Summer is humorous.
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I don’t know if humorous is the right word. Maybe more along the lines of hot and obnoxious, but thanks for commenting anyway.
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AAAaaaah Summer my love come back to me – you are forgiven and i promise to cherish you each minute you are here. I miss you , I love you, come back!!
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Wow. You and summer should get a room. Eesh.
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I’m with you 100% Nathan. Excellent post.
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I’m happy to have your support.
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I remember summer as a child. Beloved and memorable. Why should we lose in adulthood. I could not agree with the idea that the heat index at our age. Although she returned to school, I still wish I could do it cooler. I love the cold, and we can put more we can do. I had thought of going to Alaska, she was beautiful when I took a cruise in the heat here, I think that there is a better idea every day.
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It does sound like a great plan.
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I wrote something similar you can read:
And soon I’ll be sweating and uncomfortable. And I won’t have freedom.
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I am checking it out right now.
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Come to Melbourne in Australia. Summer was nonexistent this year!
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its just too hot…. i am ready for winter..
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Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! I LOVED the post and I feel you pain!! Good luck surviving the rest of this. I too adore the fall. It will come. 🙂
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It cannot come soon enough.
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SUCH a fun post!!
Dr Summer 🙂
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CURSE YOU DR. SUMMER!!!
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You could come to the UK, where we don’t have seasons; we just have weather!
Saying that, I have become increasingly disgruntled with Spring and Summer; not because I dislike the seasons, more so because the seasons dislike me (pollen).
If there is a strain of pollen that does not send my hay-fever into overdrive I haven’t yet encountered it. It is a pleasure/pain moment: the brighter days brighten my mood, whilst the irritation of Hay-fever makes me irritable :D.
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I have the pollen issue in the spring as well. The fall, though, the fall is terrific.
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Come to England. More specifically, North East England. There’s no sunshine here.
Ever.
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I don’t hate sun. I just wish it would hold back a little on the heat.
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I’m with you on this. I too am not a fan of summer, and I love winter. I like bundling, and being comfortable in what you’re wearing. You can always layer more on vs. taking clothes off? REALLY? how many clothes can you take off and remain appropriate? Plus living in Toronto, and taking the subway at rush hr in this heat is the most unpleasant… I love all other seasons.
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I am completely with you. Summer is not near as nice as the other three seasons.
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A sweat index and perhaps growing increasingly bitter towards summer, due to not having them off upon entering adulthood, LOL,
Hey but, at least you have humidity (well for the vegetation’s sake).
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Commonsense would say that this would be good for vegetation. The dead plants in my backyard would put up an argument, though.
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You’d think Ohio would be cool enough to go outside but its 96 all week with a heat index of 102! Winter sucked down here but I’d rather do my laundry then have a heat stroke. I feel like I take at least 3 showers every day. 🙂
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We had our heat index hit 110 and, if you weren’t tired of it before then, you would be after that.
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I hate HOT!!!!! My husband is always saying we need to move to Alaska, giggle. I enjoyed my visit to your blog. I subscribed :-)Be Well, Katherine
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Thanks for subscribing, Katherine.
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Come to London. All we’re had is rain this summer. Then maybe after you’ve spent a week here you’ll go back to your childhood appreciation of the heat (never know, stranger things have happened).
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You’re right. Stranger things have happened. That doesn’t mean I see this happening anytime soon, though.
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Yes, I am done with summer too!
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It was 80 at 3am this morning in Mid Michigan, and a gazzillion degrees humidity. Today will be the worst of this past week of torture with a ‘heat index’ of 107’ish. Tomorrow will cool off at 90 something.
The weeds in our yard are laughing and growing with impunity as I peak from the AC confines of my house. Sticky and a bug magnet after 3 minutes outside, (just breathing) does not encourage me to do yardwork or much of anything else.
I lived in Chicago many years, wore the ‘business suit’ took the buses to work in this crap, was miserable and drenched. Now I live in an old farm house we could never cool off until we replaced the 60 year old furnace 4 years ago. I was adamant – we WILL have central air. And so it came to be. And, oh how wonderful it is!
Enjoyed, Laughed out loud 🙂 Congrats on FP!
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Thank you. Enjoy your central air (as if there was a chance you wouldn’t).
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Nathan, I could not agree more. I have always hated summer. Even as a kid I could not wait for fall and then winter. Snow was my favorite. It still is. Most people look at you if as if you are from Mars for loving winter more than summer. Still, to throw on an old field coat and look forward to going out beats stripping to nearly nothing and dreading the blast as the door opens…….unless one is in the Caymans of course.
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Yes I whole heartedly agree. There is nothing more comforting than rustling through fallen leaves or wandering through fresh snow. And I get this mars-look every day whenever I say I am happy summer is nearly over and fall just around the corner!
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Spring is the best season of all! Maybe you should come to Vienna. Rainy and not over 20 degrees (Celsius) the past few days. I like this year’s summer a lot 🙂 Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
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I should go there immediately.
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life water
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i dont know about other young folk but i’ve hated summer as long as i remember :p lol i dislike heat.
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Never been a huge fan myself.
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Never feel summer.. :p
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Heeeey, my Badlands Bad man! Dr. Summer here, and I gotta say I’m a little disappointed, Dude. What did I ever do to you? I know I’m all “hot” and “sticky” but not all the time and humidity is a state of mind, you know? Besides the ladies like hot and sticky if you know what I mean – heh heh…
And look, Dude, you live in Kansas City? That’s – that’s where I chose to put my headquarters. It was either KC or Uganda and I figured, hey, who’s gonna live in Kansas City? Am I right? Am I right?
Anyhoo, I hope that you appreciate the magic I make once again and we can be pals. C’mon what do you say? Summer love, Dude, summer love.
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Dear Dr. Summer,
I hate you.
Love,
Nathan
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Minnesota at this time is the same as you. We’ve got humidity in the 90 percents and temperatures reaching around 100 (without the heat index, btw).
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i love sommer in Norway we have it nice
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My sis hosanna has the same prob everytime her nose gets so FREAKIN runny but i dont i love summer!!!
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i love summer but this year its way too hot
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in Norway sommer is cold ,i like it .are now snow on the road.it goes too fast i love Norwegians summer
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you should move to YVR. we have yet to experience summer this year.
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Haha, I wonder what it would be like if u ever visited India,this time of the year =)
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I hate summer too~~very very hotttt!!!!
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“If you’re 14 and don’t love summer, you’ve got no heart. If you’re 24 and love summer, you’ve got no brain.” Exactly.
I actually visited Kansas last summer, and was absolutely *thrilled* at how it felt. Texas summers and I have been trying to work things out with each other for a while now, but I’m afraid to say that I see no hope for us…
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I enjoyed reading this post… Great report.
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I know EXACTLY what you mean. I’d love to move to a cooler climate if I could.
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Humidity + heat here in Virginia also!
http://modernyardlover.com/category/its-gonna-be-a-hot-one/
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I like summer but not the heat. I need to live somewhere there’s perfect temperature all year long. Not too hot, not too cold, a nice relaxing 75 degrees!
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