-It must be hard to get jobs if you are an ugly plastic surgeon, but it can’t be as hard as a nudist getting a job as a tailor.
-I asked a kid what kind of Popsicle he had and he told me, “Green!” I know it was probably lime, but there is a slim chance it was actually Kermit flavored.
-Oddly enough, all of the Pizza Huts I have been to seem to be in very sturdy well built buildings. They clearly did not look up the meaning of “hut” before they opened.
–RC cola probably felt left out when they weren’t invited to the Pepsi Challenge.
–Millard Fillmore will go down in history as the best president. By best president, I clearly mean the most likely to have a Saturday morning cartoon named after him.
-If there really was truth in advertising, Little Debbie’s Zebra Cakes would be an entirely different type of treat.
-If I put out an album, I would call it “Crappy Music.” People would think I was being coy and clever with the title, but when they bought the album, they would learn exactly how literal of a person I am.
-Before towels were invented, I imagine it was a lot easier to slip and fall in the bathroom.
-I wonder how many lactose intolerant people have tried drinking chocolate water…
-Traditional Indian headdresses are the second least practical hat in history. First place is a tie between every hat ever worn at any fashion show.
The Life and Times of Nathan Badley... 
i do love those hats though
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