Deep Thoughts For The Weekend

-Life is like a bucket of paint. I’m not too sure how, but I bet there is a good analogy in there somewhere.

-You should always try to be the best you that you can be, unless, of course, the best you is a huge jerk. Then you really don’t need to waste your time. You can be a huge jerk without that much effort.

-Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day; teach a man to fish, he can eat for a lifetime. Give a man a gun, and he can hold you up at gunpoint for all of your fish, then go knock off a liquor store. Giving him a gun may be a bad idea…

-No matter what anyone says, they don’t LITERALLY want you to walk a mile in their shoes. Shoe-thievery seems to tick a lot of people off.

-A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, although it’s probably better to pay for the rental car if you’re planning on walking that far.

-You always admire what you really don’t understand unless we’re talking about the ingredients of a hot dog. You really just want to puke because of them.

-One who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; one who does not ask a question remains a fool forever; one that doesn’t listen to the answer to their question probably is a fool and may need a healthy dose of Ritalin.

-“The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is the last thing you want your cardiac surgeon to say.

-The best job a person can have is to be a parent.  No, wait… the best job a person can have is to be a space cowboy. I’m sure parent is in the top fifteen, though.

-To see one’s true reflection, one must look deep within. Or you could just by a mirror. Mirrors reflect really well.

-You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in glass houses. I also recommend bathing with a swimsuit on.

 

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend.