I’m waving my white flag today.
As I started to write, I couldn’t focus on one thing at all. Maybe it’s because I’m tired. Maybe everything in the world is so interesting today, I can’t pick one thing to focus my time on. Maybe I just have A.D.D.
Whatever the case may be, I am stuck. I have one question bouncing around my head over and over, like a pinball game.
How am I supposed to decide what to write about?
I could write about this Saturday’s upcoming judgment day. About how the Earth will experience earthquakes starting at 6 p.m. eastern (because that’s the time God uses). The guy in charge is still nuts, so I’m sure that could be entertaining.
I did, however, already write about that. Focusing on that guy again would feel like rehashing material. Plus, Justin Timberlake is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend, and I really can’t face the prospects of the world ending before this event.
There is more Osama bin Laden news. Al Qaida put out another bin Laden tape today. If any more come out, he’ll be like the evil terrorist version of Tupac. Of course, putting Tupac and the most hated man since Hitler next to each other could anger some West Coast rap fans. I’ve heard that some of them carry guns, so that’s a little too scary.
For some reason, it’s all over the news today that Conan O’Brien told jokes about NBC. Since that can be a repeat of basically any news story from last year, surely no one would like to hear about that.
Really, there is so much to talk about today that I can’t pick anything to talk about.
Maybe I should look at my own personal life. Surely I have something interesting I can talk about. Heck, even something mundane that I can make interesting.
I guess I could aim at fiction. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get a great short story out of it. Even a mediocre short story would be cool.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far, far, far, far….
That sucked. No, not that either.
Okay, I’ll tell you what, writer’s block. You win. I will not write anything amusing today.
But tomorrow, I’m coming back with a vengeance. I will write the greatest post anyone has ever seen. This post will go global, winning me the devotion of billions of fans. I will be crowned the world’s greatest blogger ever. People will bow before as I walk the streets of my new blog kingdom. My loyal subjects will spend their days waiting beside their computer for the next brilliant, well thought out, and wonderful post to flow from my fingertips onto the computer screen.
Or, more realistically, I’ll probably write a post that is, at best, mildly amusing.
I don’t want to raise expectations too much.