Man Proves Jesus Used A Different Calendar. Well, Good For Him.

With Easter only days away, it is time, once again, for another terrific episode of “Biblical Mysteries Revealed.”

In today’s episode, we will look at Jesus’ famed Last Supper, a delicious meal shared with his disciples, which, according to the famous painting, refused to sit on the opposite side of the table as Jesus. Despite this, there is no Biblical passage saying Jesus asked for some elbow space.

In his latest book, “The Mystery of the Last Supper,” (which sounds like the worst Hardy Boys book ever), Colin Humphreys claims to have proven that the Last Supper was held on the Wednesday before Easter instead of Thursday like everyone thought.

For those who do not have a Biblical background because you are illiterate, are more interested in the adventures of a girl and her vampire boyfriend, or feel like those adventures are as likely as the events in the Bible, the reason for Humphreys hardcore investigation stems from a discrepancy in the four gospels of the New Testament.

While Matthew, Mark, and Luke all say the last supper was held on Passover, John, always the rebellious follower of Christ, said it was held the day before. This has been the cause of many religious questions, with many saying that you can’t believe a word that John says because everyone knows he was a terrible note taker when it came to historical events. That has led everyone to believe that Matty, Mark, and the Lukester were in the right.

When I say everyone thought this, I, of course, mean people besides myself who has never really spent much time pondering the day of this meal. Apparently, there is even a holiday I have never heard of, most likely due to my current locale being in the midst of Protestantland, not Catholictopia, named Maundy Thursday, celebrated in conjunction with this. This day is commemorated by washing one’s feet, giving away alms to the poor, and making up words like Maundy, most likely to win a game of Scrabble.

The process Humphreys went through to figure this out was time consuming and grueling. First, Humphreys blew up the painting of the Last Supper really large, hoping to find a calendar in the background or a date on one of the disciple’s watches.

After picking up the copy from Kinko’s, Humphreys remembered that it was not painted during the actual last supper, therefore it was an artist’s interpretation, not an actual image of the supper. Also, the disciples had all stopped wearing watches since they had their cell phones with them all the time and it’s just as easy to look at your phone for the time.

Humphreys spent a great deal of time (maybe even up to two or three weeks) searching calendar after calendar for the discrepancy in the gospels. After researching the Mayan calendar, the Roman calendar, and his Word-a-Day Calendar from 2007, Humphreys ran across the missing piece: the old-fashioned Jewish calendar.

It seems that Passover, on the old calendar, fell the day before it would on a modern calendar. It fell on a Wednesday.

The theory has progressed from there. Humphreys writes in his book that he suspects that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Jesus himself were going off of the traditional Jewish calendar, therefore thought they were having Passover. John went with the modern calendar because he thought it was “so punk rock” to rebel against society and use a different calendar.

At this point, I’m sure questions have popped into your head. Why would it matter? Does it really matter what day Jesus ate this meal? Why would a person research this so extensively? Will anyone really read this book? I sure do think a lot of questions, don’t I?

Just one second. I need to grab my soapbox.

Well, the short answer is it shouldn’t matter. This book should never need to be written, published, or made fun of by a little ingrate like me.

In fact, the only reason this book, and many others like it, exist is to prod people’s spiritual beliefs.

People want to feel as if they are right about their beliefs; thereby defeating the entire purpose of the “faith” they claim they have. If a man from a University is able to prove things in the Bible, then, suddenly, it takes significantly less faith to believe in what you want to believe.

It doesn’t matter whether you are Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, Jewish, Shoeish, Moneyish, or none of the above. You want to have someone create validity about what you believe.

Will this idea make a large difference in Christianity? No. Absolutely not.

Will it make a few people feel like their faith is a little bit easier to understand and therefore requires less work? Maybe.

The point is, believing is believing no matter what a professor says about those particular beliefs. Faith requires you to believe despite the questions and doubts that can’t be explained to you. There are no shortcuts to it. If you choose to believe in something, you shouldn’t have to have proof from another person. If you don’t believe in something, you shouldn’t need to tear everyone down for what they do think.

As I climb down off of my soapbox ever so carefully (it’s a bit wobbly because of the frequent use it is put through), I have one last thing to say.

This book sounds incredibly boring. I think I would prefer the Hardy Boys.

8 thoughts on “Man Proves Jesus Used A Different Calendar. Well, Good For Him.

  1. Pingback: The Last Supper | Video, Torrent, Downloads | Poodlesnatcher

  2. <q cite="If you choose to believe in something, you shouldn’t have to have proof from another person. If you don’t believe in something, you shouldn’t need to tear everyone down for what they do think."

    Never have truer words been said. Just a shame others don’t see it that way. Great post 🙂

    Like

    • It drives me nuts listening to people debate looking for scientific proof of their personal religious belief. It’s not there. It always reminds me of the story of the tower of Babel where people wanted to go to heaven so they tried to build a tower to it. You can’t build a tower to heaven and you definitely can’t use history or science to prove it exists.

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  3. You made this a pleasant read. Thanks! I like your soap box. I was just to the point of thinking, ” Who really cares about the dumb date”, when you covered that angle too. Great post!

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  4. Hmm, now we Christians will have to back everything up – Holy Thursday, aka Maundy Thursday will have to be on Wednesday, Good Friday on Thursday – say I just think this is not going to work. The church is too entrenched in it’s traditions to change. You don’t know what you’ve started. Religious anarchy leading to yet another reformation, only this time with Jesse Jackson in charge instead of Martin Luther. I’ve got a bad feeling about this!

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  5. Pingback: Learn About Passover | Snafu Blog

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