The Battle Between My Adult Self and Inner-Child Rages On

Matchbox Y-2 (A) 1911 'B'-Type Bus, a first is...

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I’m distracted today.

Not that it’s a rare occurrence for me to feel some of blockage to the attention-paying portion of my brain (I believe it’s the attention cortex). I’m from the MTV generation, so naturally I haven’t paid full attention to anything, in, well, probably in forever (unless my wife asks, in which case, I constantly pay attention, especially while she is talking to me).

To make things worse, I sit by a window at work. Outside of this window, right there in plain daylight, there is construction being done.

It’s very hard to get things done when you have to stop every few minutes and watch the bulldozer move dirt.

While a fascination with any sort of machine that moves is natural as a child, as an adult you are supposed to grow out of it along with your desire to be an astronaut and your refined taste in boogers.

The gentlemen reading this (And some girls, too. I’m not sexist.) know exactly what I am talking about. When you’re a kid, you watch cars and play with trains all of the time. If you don’t have a Matchbox car, you turn something else into a car. You spend hours perfecting the sound of all types of engines, much like a hunter practices their animal calls.

These cars are played with for hours, even by the kids with no attention span. They usually crash, which, as an adult, I don’t recommend, but they represent one of the top forms of child entertainment, right after screaming and throwing things. In fact, sometimes it turns into all three.

Now, though, I am old enough to drive a car myself. It isn’t that fun. In fact, I almost feel it is my duty to walk up to every kid I see playing with a toy car and tell them, “Enjoy it now. When you grow up, it becomes a chore. Also, you have to buy gas.”

I wish I had been warned. Up until the time I had a car, I wanted a car. When I got one, I found out the unfortunate truth: cars are basically giant metal thieves, constantly stealing money from you.

Since then, I’ve spent a fair amount of time driving. Aside from the time spent in Driver’s Ed, when you are so terrified to do anything in a car that even the action of turning on the blinker can give you an adrenaline rush, driving is very boring.

Despite this truth, occasionally I find myself watching transportation like a child.

Maybe I’m immature. Maybe I’m clinging onto my childhood. Maybe I couldn’t focus on what I’m actually supposed to being doing, even if I had a gun held to my head (Actually, I would probably have a harder time focusing if I had a gun to my head. The threat of death is, most likely, very distracting.).

Who knows what the case is?

I don’t really care why, in all honesty. I will be a kid as long as I want to be. When I’m in a retirement home someday, there is a very real chance I will turn one of my pills into a tiny car and drive it all over my room, like a little kid. Maybe I’ll even stare out the window at some construction being done.

It’s guaranteed to be more entertaining than actually driving.

6 thoughts on “The Battle Between My Adult Self and Inner-Child Rages On

  1. I think its good to still have some part of child-likeness (as opposed to childishness) in a person even if we are adults and need to behave like adults, you know?

    Driving cars where I come from is hardly boring, especially when you have “brilliant” people making up the citizenry! hehe!

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  2. Amazing how the things we watch adults do when were children seem so fun and fascinating, and turn out to be boring routines when we get to adulthood. My granddaughter is all exicted about pretend cooking right now. She just got a play stove and refrigerator for her bithday. We’re bringing her play food and play pots and pans. I hope she can still enjoy cooking when she’s grown up, and not let life suck all the fun out of it. Actually, the cooking will probably still be fun – it’s the cleanup that ruins it.

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  3. I disagree, driving is awesome. Granted, I’m still pretty young, and maybe it’s because I live in Southern California, but driving is the best stress reliever I’ve got – aside from going to the batting cages. I think you need to drive a stick-shift, or maybe get a motorcycle or another really fast, dangerous vehicle. If you’re going to spend that much time doing something, you should have fun doing it.

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  4. I couldn’t agree more! I am not a fan of driving and hate the fact that I live in a city where I need to rely on a car for transportation. I am still a dreamer and think it is great that your inner child has been buried deep inside.

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  5. Writing about Driver’s Education takes on facets such as teaching safety rules and even to the idea that really good bus drivers and firefighters could give driving lessons. These ideas inspired at least two articles, one of which I hope Nathan enjoyed reading, and another about Chicago city bus drivers. The British have the Kids’ Driving Experience, so we in America ought to at least give the concept a shot, and I think it would succeed if planned and carried out with safety, an element of fun, and the basics of achievement and reward woven in.

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