List of the week: The Best of Spring

Not the correct kind of spring.

Not the correct kind of spring.

Today is the last day of February. That means the winter months are officially ending and its time to look forward to Spring. Hoorah!

With that said, it’s time for us to examine the best things about Spring.

1. The weather

Sandwiched in between the frigidity of Winter and the brain melting heat of Summer lies Spring. Many days, the temperature is perfect for going outside.

Even better, though, are the storms. With the constant threat of sever thunderstorms and tornadoes, its hard to become bored in the Midwest. The constant weather-related adrenaline rush leaves many unable to sleep.

2. The trees turn green

During the winter, trees die. They are depressing and ugly. They are so ugly, people start cutting them up and burning them. They say its for “warmth,” but we all know we’re just trying to put them out of their misery.

In Spring, the trees are finally tired of being chopped up, so they start to grow some leaves. It’s science. Look it up.

3. Spring Break

Nothing says Spring more than Spring Break, a time for high school kids to pretend they’re college kids so they can drink adult beverages. To do this, they spend their parents’ money on a trip to a beach because everyone knows that drinks are so much more delicious if you have sand in all of your crevasses.

This tradition is so entertaining, MTV has decided to show up with cameras and entertain these “people” with countless “musicians” performing their “hit” “songs.” Some might call it a contrived attempt at earning money from sponsors. There is a slim chance their right.

4. Gardening

When you think fun, you know you think vegetables and digging in the dirt. The good news is you can now get both of those things with gardening. Imagine the joy and self fulfillment you will feel while eating a carrot you grew yourself. Sure, you spent 620 hours of manpower on that one carrot, but you got some sun. Isn’t that really worth it?

No?

Well… at least you didn’t have to go to the store. That’s something.

5. Season finales

All good tv shows end in Spring. Sure, there are shows in the summer, but these are all reality shows where you throw 25 people in a room and let them fight. Those are not real tv shows.

Spring brings all the cliffhangers that will try to get your favorite show brought back next season. If it’s a good finale, you spend the entire summer worried that your favorite character will die from his gunshot wound and lose the girl of his dreams. If it’s a bad one, you really don’t care and forget the tv show exists. After all, you only have a limited amount of space in your brain for tv shows, and who can miss those summer reality shows. They’re dynamite!

Look for these things and more this coming Spring. If you miss it, you might as well just sleep until Summer because you’ve missed everything good about the Spring.

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