List of the Week

I’m not that old. At 23, there should be very little reason to be disappointed with your accomplishments. After all, I have 54.6 years left to leave my mark on the world. With that said, I still feel like a slacker. These people are the reasons why.

1. Blake Griffin– Age 21
In 2009, Griffin was selected as the number one overall pick by the Los Angeles Clippers. Despite missing his first season with a broken kneecap, an injury that would kill a lesser man, he has become an NBA star this season, averaging 22.9 ppg and 12.7 rpg. That would mean his stats are better in a game than mine were in my entire two season basketball career.
Not only that, but Griffin is so cool he can dunk over a car. A car that is nicer than my car.

2. Trevor Bayne– Age 20
Just today, Bayne won the Daytona 500. I know most people don’t respect NASCAR as a sport (I am one of those people), but four years ago he didn’t even have a driver’s license. For the record, Bayne won $1,443,250 for this race. Meanwhile, I feel lucky if I find a dollar in one of my pockets on laundry day.

3. Rihanna- Age 23
I don’t feel like I even need to explain this one. She sings on every song on the radio. I do not. I think that explains why she wins.

4. Trace Cyrus– Age 21
This one hurts the most. Cyrus was able to get a record deal and his own clothing company. All he had to do was be Miley Cyrus’s half brother.
Let me show you why this hurts. This is his band. This song was semi-popular. Listen at your own risk.

If Cyrus can get a record deal, I should be able to do anything I want. But that doesn’t seem to be how it works. Maybe I need to get more tattoos and stop wearing a shirt…

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