McDonalds Happy to Host McWeddings for McCouples, Still Makes Gross Food

There is a brand new wrinkle in the argument about the sanctity of marriage, and it has nothing to do with politics.
It does have to do with the Hamburglar.
The newest fad in Hong Kong are weddings in McDonalds. Yes, I do mean McDonalds, the home of the McChicken, the cause of making you feel McSick.
For the low, low price of $1200, a couple can bring 100 of their closest friends to a fast food restaurant. It even comes with a cake made of apple pies (which just makes it a pile of apple pies, fyi), rings with crystal M’s on them, and decorations featuring Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar, because nothing says have a terrific life together like a demented clown and a thief who only steals beef products.
It seems that people in Hong Kong not only think that McDonalds is a great place for a date, but they have gone on so many dates there they would like to enter their life together there as well.
If you’re like me, your first thought was “Their McRib’s must be a lot better there.” When I got engaged, the first rule I gave my wife was we would not be married in a place that has ever housed a McRib. Your second thought was most likely one wondering why more places are not capitalizing on this.
Inspired by this, I have come up with my own entrepreneurial idea: Pizza Hut funerals. The deceased will be buried in an oversized pizza box and, since eating is how many people cope with loss, all people at the funeral will be given a free large specialty pizza. Stuffed crust would be extra.
If that seems a little to grim for you, how about a Taco Bell Bris. Kosher friendly (maybe?), Taco Bell would be the perfect place to have your newborn son circumcised. Plus, everyone gets free drink refills, so that’s pretty cool. They even have Diet Mountain Dew. That’s not easy to find in a restaurant.
I’ve got a million ideas. If you know anyone who owns a fast food restaurant, send them my way and I will design a program using one of life’s most joyous occasions as a way to trick people into eating there. Subway Sweet 16? You got it. You want your school to host it’s own Wendy’s graduation? No problem. Hardee’s Water Birth? That one is actually probably against health code, so you’ll definitely have to keep the baby and all afterbirth in the parking lot.
You’re more than welcome to come in and eat afterwards, though.

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