There it laid, sprawled out in the middle of the floor. There were no signs of life, not that there ever were. The splatters from the crash landing coated the area around it. By all accounts, it was a disaster. Seeing that devastation, that destruction, it’s hard to believe that just 30 seconds before that […]
Ah, the Super Bowl. Nothing is more American than this celebration of sport, gluttony and consumption. We all gather around our TV and shove massive quantities of food in our fat gobs for hours. Every year 1.2 billion chicken wings are consumed on this day. Why? Because football and poultry go hand in hand! Some […]
It can be very hard to keep up with all of the Super Bowl’s happenings. You might miss something while you get your fourth helping of cheese dip. What if there is a line for the bathroom? You could miss one of the most amazing, unforgettable moments in sports history while you’re trying to contain […]
The greatest American holiday is upon us. Super Bowl Sunday. Sure it may not be an actual holiday, but it’s definitely more important than some real holidays. What is Labor Day anyway? No one knows because no one cares about it. The Super Bowl, though, is another story. Millions of people around the entire globe, […]
All across this grand country, the trailer parks are abuzz. The Super Bowl of auto racing has arrived. This Sunday, the Daytona 500 will be run. (Little known fact: The first Daytona 500 was run in 1845 when a young Abraham Lincoln outraced Mark Twain. He was later disqualified for using illegal shoes on his […]
Attention, television executives. I have done it. After countless hours of research (or at least that’s what I call it to justify watching TV instead of helping around the house), I have come up with the perfect show. A show so big, the NFL will want to broadcast the Super Bowl AFTER it. To create […]
I’m becoming old and boring. Let’s be honest. EVERYONE is becoming old and boring. As you get older, the things that were fun, interesting and delightful become boring, dull, and so unbelievably obnoxious that you find your self wanting to complain about young people’s music and the height of their pants. I first thought about […]
The Super Bowl. Everyone’s favorite excuse to eat nachos and chicken wings. But when the game is over, who really remembers what all has happened during the game? This year, I have decided to document all the things worth remembering. 2:45 pm- Turn on the pregame show. Michael Irvin can pull off a pinstriped suit […]
