As a rule, people seem to like Star Wars too much. I know this is a controversial statement, but it is true. Sure, the movies are entertaining, but anyone who says they are the greatest movies in the history of the world are delusional. Everyone knows that the greatest movies in history are the Rocky […]
“Oh, if I could but live another century and see the fruition of all the work for women! There is so much yet to be done.” -Susan B. Anthony, prominent civil rights leader “If we mean to have heroes, statesmen and philosophers, we should have learned women.”-Abigail Adams, former first lady and woman’s rights advocate […]
There was a time in our history when journalism was conscientious. The media had a responsibility to report facts and sensationalizing of a story was left to the likes of scumbags and muckrakers like William Randolph Hearst. Slowly, though, Hearstian reporting took over. Now you cannot turn on the TV without hearing some knucklehead making a […]
On July 20, 2012, James Holmes “allegedly” (apparently the definition of “allegedly” has been expanded to include “absolutely, without a doubt, did this thing”) walked into a midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” and began firing. He killed 12 and injured 58 innocent movie patrons. As one might imagine, this has made Holmes the […]
I am a man of many talents. I am great at shooting rubberbands. When it comes to beverages, I know that I can win a Diet Pepsi drinking contest against anyone. Amongst other things, though, I am a great judge of character. Being a great judge of character, I know immediately when I will not […]
As a child, there were a handful of debates that raged on the playground. Debate #1: Chocolate milk versus regular. Obviously chocolate won hands down every time, but a few kids clung onto their love for regular. Of course, there were the oddballs who would want to throw strawberry into the mix, but everyone knows […]
We have all been there before. You are at an airport trying to fly into another country. It is a very stressful time for everyone involved. You are in a rush to get through security, pulling giant suitcases, trying to pull $135 out of your pocket so you can get your preflight non-fat double-whip grande […]
All around the world, people’s eyes were glued to their television set this evening. There, a man spoke, declaring the importance of following one’s dreams. He spoke about the time he had spent pursuing his biggest goal in life and how you can do anything you want if you work hard enough. It was very […]
I feel stupid. A lot. There are many times when I find myself wondering if I am, in fact, the dumbest person on the planet. It could be after yanking on a door that has been outfitted with a large “PULL” sign. It might be after spilling coffee on my pants in a way that, […]
I don’t think there is a single thing in the history of the world that makes me happier than a comment section on the internet. Nothing gives me more joy than heading to YouTube, finding the latest adorable animal video, then commenting, “Why are you watching these cute animals when Obama is trying to literally […]
