In America’s search for new foods to shove in our mouths, a great deal of unnecessary foods have been created. At some point in the 1970’s, someone decided that having to use two jars was far too much work. Thus peanut butter and jelly were swirled in jar, saving millions of people a full 10 […]
I’m afraid of very few things in my life. Snakes don’t worry me. I am not too concerned about flying. I frequently sleep without a night light because there’s nothing the dark can do to me. Plus my apartment complex strategically placed a street light where it will always shine right through my shades and […]
There are a lot of reasons to love Chinese food. There are very few types of food that offer up dozens of chicken dishes that, in essence, are pretty much the same thing but with a different sauce. There aren’t many types of food that name a major dish after historical figures like a general […]
Over the course of my lifetime, I have been to many sporting events. At sporting events you will find many things. There is always the person who is inappropriate on the jumbotron’s “Kiss Cam.” There is the fan who screams from the upper deck, nearly popping a blood vessel despite the fact that he is […]
There it laid, sprawled out in the middle of the floor. There were no signs of life, not that there ever were. The splatters from the crash landing coated the area around it. By all accounts, it was a disaster. Seeing that devastation, that destruction, it’s hard to believe that just 30 seconds before that […]
In the break room at work, you are bound to run across interesting conversations. More often, though, you are going to hear the same conversations over and over. The break room is not a place to break ground conversationally, lest you choose your conversational choice poorly and spend the next 40 years known as the […]
Dear cashier at Krystal, It was lunchtime and I was on the lookout for some cheap, tasty eats to shove down my gob. Unfortunately, cheap and tasty rarely go together. That’s why I found the cheap, least offensive option and chose your fine establishment. When I arrived, I was not surprised to find a decent […]
My worst fear has come true. Well, maybe not worst fear. That would be a robot spider that can shoot lasers from each lens of its compound eyes. That would be terrible. No, the fear of thousands of junk food eaters has come true. Hostess, the makers of Twinkies, Cupcakes, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Donettes, […]
Dear Diary, In the past, I have been very concerned about the humans. There are many times they barely seem able to function in the world. If they drop crumbs on the floor, they never pick them up and eat them despite the fact that it is perfectly good food. They insist on not only […]
Noon had just hit when you came into my life. We walked into the freshly unlocked door and you sat there, visible through the gleaming reflection on the glass in front of you. I knew then that you would be my cupcakes. At the request of my mother, my mission had been to bring you […]
