And now the exciting conclusion… We sat there throughout the game. Sure, I was enjoying the hockey, but I had destiny on my mind. With a minute left in the game, I gave my sister the top-secret ultra-hush-hush super-stealthy signal that it was time for my plan to be sat in motion. “Hey,” I said. “We […]
Life is much harder in the morning. Even the simplest tasks can be daunting. You can suddenly find yourself staring at a shoelace as if you were facing the summit of Everest. That is how I found myself driving down I-440 with the door to my gas tank open. It started out like many other […]
I don’t understand why movie theatres sell large drinks. They find suckers like me and post pictures of drinks, almost as if to say, “A movie is a REALLY long time to go without some sort of refreshment. Good luck with your dry and itchy throat!” I almost have no choice but to spend every […]
In our current economic state, it can be hard to make a living. There are 8.3% of Americans unemployed which translates to roughly 830 billion people (I’m not great at percentages). More than 43 million people are under the poverty line. Millions of others are underemployed. No one is making the money they […]
Dear readers, As you might have noticed, nothing was placed on my blog yesterday. There is what I feel to be a very good reason. You cannot write and drive a large truck at the same time. After a morning of loading box after box, I hopped behind the wheel of a 22’ Penske truck […]
Dear anyone I have ever emailed, Today, I was sitting at work minding my own business when an email arrived. Getting email is an exciting thing for me. As I am prone to do, I giddily clicked on my inbox, eager to see what gift the email gods had sent me. It turned out I […]
It was early in the morning when the people came outside. They carried their knickknacks and their bric-à-brac and set it up on the lawn. Piles of curios and long forgotten nonsensical items covered the grass. That is how Gordon the Garage Sale came to be. Gordon felt confident. He knew exactly what he had […]
Summer has officially struck. I was made aware of this when the following conversation happened with 32 different people today: “How are you?” “Not too bad. Just trying to beat the heat. It’s really hot!” Yes, a terrible heat wave has set upon us. Instead of standing by your window and booing the outdoors (BOOOOOO!!!! […]
Warning: The following post is an excellent example of over sharing. If you do not care for over sharing, please move along to a different blog. I hear there are a lot of blogs that feature recipes. Maybe you could learn to make a nice spinach dip or some tomato relish to garnish your black […]
Nothing surprises me more than a voicemail. No one contacts me via telephone, so normally I am excited to answer. Somehow, though, an occasional call slips by me, only arriving as a voicemail. This was the situation I found myself in this evening as I looked at my phone. There, somehow going unnoticed throughout the […]
